It seemed to me that this past Winter was especially hard. My home town was spared the horrible blizzards that devastated other parts of the Midwest, but our Winter was still made up of months of very cold temperatures and too much snow and ice. I don’t know if it’s my age or that my volunteer job of walking dogs at the local animal shelter means I’m outside for long periods of time, but whatever the reason, I don’t tolerate the cold very well. The blood drains out of my fingers, leaving them bleached white and painful, my nose runs continuously, and my eyes tear so much that everyone thinks I’m crying.
So you can see why I was really, really, ready for Winter to be over, even as the frigid temperatures hung on and the promise of Spring seemed so very far away. I often found myself wondering just how big of a beach-front Florida condo we could buy if we sold our house and drained our savings accounts. Sometimes I thought about just staying in my nice warm bed all day, reading books and eating hot soup. I even toyed with the idea of having all the supplies I needed delivered to me so that I didn’t have to venture out into the cold.
But I didn’t act on any of those crazy impulses. Instead, I just kept to my regular routine, knowing that sooner or later, Winter would give up and leave, making room for the Spring that I was longing for. And sure enough, Spring finally showed up.
The past couple of weeks have been (mostly) wonderfully warm, with just enough rain to wash away the nasty tree pollen that triggers my allergies. The flowers are blooming, the trees are budding, and the birds are singing outside my window every morning. The days are getting longer, and it now stays light well into the dinner hour, which means we can both cook and eat outside on our patio.
I believe Winter comes to all of us in many ways. Some times it’s the literal Winter of cold, nasty weather and long, dark nights. Other times, it’s the hardships and losses that that we suffer through and that can make life feel so very difficult, both physically and emotionally. There are times when it seems as if our personal Winter will never end.
That’s when it helps me to remember that at the end of every seasonal Winter, no matter how hard and how long it has been, comes Spring. The sun gets a little stronger, the temperatures a little warmer and the days last a little longer with each passing week. And that reminds me that the dark days in our personal lives don’t last forever either. It may take a long time, but eventually our burdens will feel just a little bit lighter, our hearts will feel just a little bit warmer, and our spirits will celebrate the arrival of our very own Spring.
The lawn that looked so wonderful during our annual two weeks of Spring is now riddled with weeds and sporting a ton of brown spots from where our dog uses it as her bathroom. I’d rather not use harsh chemicals, so every year I spend hours pulling up the “creeping charlie” that spreads so fast it really ought to be named “sprinting charlie.” But no matter how many mounds of weeds I pull, I can never get rid of it. And no matter how many times my husband puts down new sod to replace the dead spots, it’s just a matter of time before my dog and her killer urine turn the grass brown again.
Still, all things come to an end, and this Summer will be no exception. Autumn will eventually arrive, followed by Winter and all that it has to offer. Beautiful snowfalls, cozy sweaters, tasty mugs of hot chocolate, and absolutely no mosquitoes. I can hardly wait…..
Usually, I can’t wait for the arrival of Spring. By the time March rolls around, I want nothing more than to be finished with Winter. I hate Winter’s short, cold days and its long, even colder nights. I hate the dry air in my house that creates chapped skin and generates shocks from static electricity despite the best efforts of my humidifier. And although I love walking shelter dogs three times a week, I hate doing it in freezing temperatures. My eyes water from the cold wind, my fingers turn white, and my nose hair freezes. So ordinarily, the first sign of Spring fills me with joy and a hope for better things.
I usually have a hard time getting started, because I really like the way my house looks when it’s decorated for Christmas. I like the way my upstairs tree casts a warm glow over the living room when I turn on its lights. I like the way the vintage glass ornaments shimmer on the tree, and the way almost every household decoration holds a special meaning or memory. I have a lovely nativity set that was a joint effort of my father (he made the stable) and my mother-in-law (she made the ceramic figurines). Both my father and my mother-in-law have been gone for several years, but every time I look at that nativity set, I’m reminded of them.
Like most people who are on the “wrong side of fifty,” I’ve reached a stage in my life where time has become a precious thing. I know that I have more years behind me that I do ahead of me, which means I have to be more intentional about how I use the time I have left. And this time of year, with its ever-shortening days, can make it particularly hard to find time for all the extra activities that Christmas brings for those of us who celebrate it. I love all the baking, wrapping, decorating and parties that Christmas brings, but I really wish it came with a few extra hours each day just to deal with it all.
There are times when I find the shorter days of early winter a bit depressing, and the chaos of the holiday season a little overwhelming. But then I realize that those things can also be a gift, because they help me remember that I must always be careful to choose how I spend the time I still have, and how important it is that I always choose wisely.
First of all, let me say that I know that heavy snowfalls can cause a lot of problems for a lot of people. Travelers stranded at the airport, or even worse, stuck in a ditch by the highway on a freezing cold day, have a legitimate reason to complain about the snow. So do farmers who have to tend to their animals, no matter what the weather. And when a snowstorm stops me from going on a vacation I have looked forward to for months, I am the first to complain bitterly about it to anyone who will listen. I have a nephew who works for the State Highway Department, so I know just how much extra work heavy snowfalls create, and I am incredibly grateful for the work he and his crews do to clear the roads so the rest of us can get where we need to go. (Thank you, Jason!)
Muddling Through My Middle Age 