I was at a restaurant the other night when I noticed a young couple being seated at a nearby table. As soon as they sat down, the man placed his laptop computer on the table in front of him and began typing. The woman immediately pulled out her phone and gave it her full attention. The looked up from their devices just long enough to place their orders, but I don’t think they said more than three words to each other before their food arrived.
Once the food came, the man pushed his computer aside and began to eat, but the woman kept her phone out and used it to take some photos of her dinner. And apparently the lighting over their table wasn’t very good, because she picked up her plate and carried it to an empty table, where she put it down and took another photo. I guess that photo wasn’t satisfactory either, because she repeated the process at several other tables before she finally carried her food back to her own table and began to eat.
I’ll never know exactly why the woman was so concerned with getting a high-quality photo of her dinner, but I assume she intended to share it on social media. We certainly live in a time where it’s common to share almost every detail of our lives and almost every thought that crosses our minds, and the internet makes it so very easy for us to do so. But it seems to me that all too often, we have lost sight of the difference between the things we should share and the things that we should be keeping to ourselves.
Honestly, sharing all the mundane details of our lives only annoys other people. (I know I could live happily without ever seeing a photo of someone else’s meal.) But far worse is the kind of sharing that is downright hurtful. When someone we care for voices an opinion that we think is just plain silly, we don’t need to actually tell them that. I’ve never yet met a pregnant woman who appreciated being told about someone’s incredibly long and painful labor. And people who have made difficult decisions don’t benefit from having someone second-guess their choice afterwards. A good rule of thumb is that if sharing our thoughts will cause unnecessary stress or hurt feelings, then those thoughts shouldn’t be shared at all.
Sharing is a good thing, as long as we do it wisely. We can do an incredible amount of good when we share our resources with those who are in desperate need, and sharing words of encouragement and hope can make a huge difference in the life of someone who is struggling. The trick is to make sure that what we are sharing is something that is actually wanted and/or needed by the person we intended to share with.
I still think about that couple at the restaurant. Maybe they really didn’t have anything they wanted to say to each other. But I believe that their dinner would have been so much better if, rather than focusing on taking a good photo of their food to share online, they’d chosen to give their time and attention to each other instead. That, in my opinion, would have been something actually worth sharing. Because good things happen when we choose to share only the very best we have to offer…..
Autumn has never been my favorite season, but for some reason, this year is different. This year I’m actually enjoying Autumn. Maybe it’s because we finally got a Fall with a lot of beautiful color on the trees, or maybe it’s because we enjoyed a spell of perfect Autumn weather with warm days and cool nights. It might be that Halloween is fun again, now that I have a grandson among the trick-or-treaters. (He may not be able to walk on his own yet, but he still looked adorable in his penguin costume.) It could even be that my mother and sister are hosting the Thanksgiving dinner this year, which spares me the cleaning and shopping frenzy that usually defines my early November.
All I know is that I feel a new appreciation for Autumn, even now that the weather has turned cold and rainy. I loved baking my first pumpkin pie of the season and have decorated my front porch with pumpkins. I didn’t even mind packing away the last of my summer clothes and switching them out for the warmer clothes I’ll be needing in the upcoming months.
Last week, my husband and I spent yet another week in Florida, sharing a vacation home on Marco Island with my daughter, son-in-law and our baby grandson. We walked the nearby beach, swam in the pool and even went on a sight-seeing cruise. It was our first family vacation that included our grandson, which made it even more fun and special. Especially when I walked the beach with him and thought of all the time that had passed since I had walked a Florida beach when I was pregnant with his mother.
If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to enjoy more vacations with my children and their families, and I look forward to that possibility. But even if that doesn’t happen, even if this is our last family trip to Florida, I’ll be content. Because I already have enough good memories to last a lifetime.
For the past few weeks, our house has been far too quiet. No one is barking at the back door, letting me know that she has waited exactly five seconds for someone to let her in and she’s deeply unhappy about the delay. When I’m working at my computer, no one is laying by my feet, snoring loudly. I don’t hear the repetitive squeak of dog toys, or the click of canine toenails on the hardwood floors. Our house has been peaceful, quiet, and almost entirely free of dog hair…..and I don’t like it one bit.
So these days, I get my “dog fix” when I walk the shelter dogs, who are always very happy to get the attention. My son and daughter-in-law’s dogs also come visit, making themselves instantly at home at “Grandma’s” house, as they explore every nook and cranny and scope out the furniture for the best napping spots. And they don’t seem to mind too much when we make it clear that their sleeping choices are limited to the floors and the dog beds.