Mom’s New Phone

/ Ann Coleman

I have a good friend who exclaims, “Give me strength!” when she’s faced with a challenging situation.  I think that’s a very appropriate response, and lately I’ve been saying it myself.  A lot.

When my mom’s old flip phone stopped being dependable, my sisters and I decided to get her a new smart phone.  We really did think it it would be easier for her to use than her outdated flip phone, but it turns out that we were wrong. Swiping a screen was a new concept for her, and she either pressed her finger too long and hard or too lightly to be detected.  She wasn’t used to typing in a code to unlock her screen, and was completely confused by the myriad of choices that kept popping up on her screen.  She couldn’t read the fine print that said “swipe up to answer” but she was drawn to the large “edit contact” button, often pushing it before she tried to make a call.  That resulted in my contact information going from “Ann Coleman” to something like”243y Cx9L.”

It wasn’t long before we admitted defeat and got her a newer version of her old flip phone.  It’s a bit awkward, but she’s more comfortable with it because most of the buttons are similar to her old phone.  She has figured out how to make calls.  But the problem with the new phone is the ultra-sensitive volume buttons are on the side of the phone, exactly where she holds it when she uses it.  That means she keeps turning the volume off so the phone doesn’t ring when we’re trying to call her.

But as challenging as this whole business has been, the worst part is I believe all this hassle is completely unnecessary. Yes, my mom is 92 and her days of learning complicated new things are over.  But she’s been using a phone her whole life and figuring out how to use a new phone shouldn’t be causing her (or me) this much stress.  All she wants and needs is a simple device on which to make and receive telephone calls.  She has no desire to use her phone to send emails, check the weather, or text.  She certainly doesn’t need a phone that can open a garage door (she doesn’t have a garage), pay her bills, or do any of the dozens of other things the various apps on her phone kept offering to do.  All those extras do are confuse her, and worse, make her feel old and stupid and a burden on her daughters.

I seriously doubt that my mother is the only person who would prefer to have a simple cell phone that requires no more knowledge to use than the phone number of the person you want to call.  So my question is, why is it so hard to find and purchase a phone like that?  I’m not advocating doing away with smart phones; I’m just saying they’re not for everybody.  Old age is hard enough without struggling to master a complicated new phone.   My hope is that someday, those who design new phones will come up with a model aimed at people like my mom.  But until that day arrives, all I can say is: “give me strength….”

125 thoughts on “Mom’s New Phone”

  1. Oh Ann, I totally hear you! Doug’s mum is 87 and now living on her own at home, can’t drive so is heavily reliant on her phone. And it feels like lately she’s had nothing but trouble. She’s gone through so many! Doug’s brother bought her a Samsung that he thought would be easy, but it seems she can’t swipe it properly, the volume goes up and down, things come up that aren’t supposed to come up and all she wants to do is make a call! We’re still trying to work things out for her. Hopefully son but I’ll hand it to her, she’s a fryer. But it really shouldn’t be so hard!

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    • I’m so sorry! We got Mom the simplest smart phone we could find, and it was still way too complicated for her. I hate that people who really need a phone for their own safety are the very ones who struggle to find one they can use. How hard would it be for each manufacturer to have one model that is designed to be used only for calling? Instead, it seems that each new phone has even more stuff on it, and often stuff most of us don’t need or want. It’s time that technology was designed to adapt to us, rather than the other way around, I think.

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  2. Here, here. I totally agree with you. My wife’s Dad is 91 and it would be so handy if he could get a simple cell phone that is only a phone and does not take a 3 week course to learn. I think the Smart phones were a clever advertising ploy to get everyone hooked on apps where the main money is. Stay well and have a great week Ann. Allan

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    • I think you are exactly right, Allan! All those apps are designed to sell us stuff (either directly or indirectly by tracking our preferences and then selling that information to retailers.) And the more dependent we become on our phones, the better for those who want to sell us stuff because we loses the ability and desire to “opt out.” But the real losers are many older people who don’t have a phone that they can use easily and confidently.

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  3. The first thought I had Ann was that there is supposedly a phone for seniors called “Jitterbug.” But I personally don’t know if it’s easier. However, it might be worth checking out!
    How lucky your mom is that you are trying to solve this. It definitely sounds frustrating, so I’m sending you a big hug!

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    • Thanks so much, Judy! I’ve seen commercial for the Jitterbug and suggested we try that one, but my sister said she looked it up and their customer service gets really bad reviews. So we steered clear of it, but I do wish that the companies which make smart phones would include a model like the Jitterbug among them. It really couldn’t be that hard to offer that option, and it would make like so much easier for so many vulnerable people!

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      • Daughter bought a Gabba phone for 9 year old granddaughter who is walking to school by herself. Daughter can even track her but the Gabba has no internet; just calls and texts.

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        • My mom just calls on her phone, texting is beyond her. Although I have a friend whose mom is the same age, and her mom texts all the time, and even uses emojis. You just never know who’s going to take to smart phones and who isn’t! Thanks for the comment!

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  4. Must say I’m no where near 92 but feel exactly like your mother Ann! I prefer to just make calls, I do send some texts but only use my mac for the internet. All those gadgets they try to push on phones is useless for me. My android is now 5 years old and I don’t update it so it will soon be obsolete too. Praying I can still buy a basic phone from the PO to suit my needs …

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    • I remember when I bought my first smart phone and I told the salesman that all I wanted was a phone that would allow me to make and receive calls. His answer was that he wanted to make my cell phone something I absolutely couldn’t live without. And that certainly does seem to be the goal of the product, doesn’t it? I do text and send emails on my phone occasionally, but I still use it mostly for calling. (and taking pictures). I do hope you can get a basic phone when yours needs to be replaced. I firmly believe that should be a choice all of us have!

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      • I still leave my phone at home when I go out, try to remember to take it in case I have a breakdown and need to call road service but I have no plan to be on 24 hour for the deluge of scam calls I receive 🙂

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  5. Wow! I hear you on this one! At my age of 57 the technology gives me grief and I have been adapting my entire life and recently I declared war, yes…war on the industry as a whole for not making it easier but making things entirely more complicated!!!! Why do we need two gps devices in our car with 3 cameras, and still need to have a back up of my cell phone gps to see what is really happening? Makes my head hurt, and really pisses me off!
    I can totally understand your Mom’s and your situation. Why not make it easy, two times cans and a piece of string would be better than a $1000.00 phone that is little more than a paperweight…oh yeah…what is paper? 🙄☎️📝

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    • I often feel like declaring war on the companies that design all these new “smart” gadgets, and even cars. I don’t want or need a car that is constantly tracking me, I don’t want to need an app on my phone that shows me the contents of my fridge, and I sure don’t want a stove that displays random recipes when I’m trying to cook breakfast! It’s fine to make those products for those who do want them, but why can’t they cater, just once in a while, to those of us who don’t want all that stuff. You don’t have to be old to want to live a bit more simply and independently, you know? Having choices would be such a good thing, but little by little, our choices are being taken away…..

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  6. There are some around. Without googling anything I do recall there’s a reissue of a very basic phone (can’t remember the make) that only makes calls and sends and receives texts.

    My daughter bought an ipad for my stepmother (93 at the time). It didn’t end well.

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    • My sister was the one in charge of finding a new phone for Mom, and she said the Jitterbug got lousy reviews on their customer service. I do know that when I’m in the phone store, I don’t see any simple phones for sale, and I didn’t see them on the website either. I’m glad to hear that someone is doing it though. That’s good news, thanks! In my opinion, most companies ought to offer that option, so that it’s available to people no matter where they live or what phone service they use.

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  7. I’m not a fan of cell phones but I use one. “Give me strength” as your friend says. I’m sure that for someone who isn’t inclined to want to use a fancy modern cell phone it’s impossible to learn it. I liked my flip phone back in the day, but you’re right they’re something from a bygone era now. Good old technology drags us all forward.

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    • I honestly don’t mind trying new things, but I do mind gadgets that are unnecessarily complicated. I would love it if each manufacturer offered a range of phones, from the “all the bells and whistles” versions for those who love all things tech, to the “only call and text” versions for those who don’t. It seems like common sense to me. But I know….common sense and the world rarely intertwine, do they? Give us all strength!! LOL!

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    • I’m sure there’s a huge market for it, but aside from the Jitterbug, I haven’t seen any products for it. Mick (lives in England) did mention that he knew of a new phone that’s supposed to be very simple, so perhaps the phone companies are finally marketing to the “under-served” population that can’t handle a phone that is basically a small computer. Here’s hoping, anyway!

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  9. The poor thing! (And poor you, too.). Seems to me there should be at least one model that is just a phone that makes and receives calls—nothing else. There’s no way my mom could have used a smart phone at that age.

    Several years ago I bought something like this so I could cradle the phone in my neck and free up my hans. Unfortunately, it didn’t fit into my pocket, so I didn’t use it.

    >

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    • LOL! I’ve hung up on more than one person by trying to cradle my phone on my shoulder in order to free up both hands while I’m talking…. And yes, there really does need to be more phones available for those who want something that only makes calls, and perhaps the ability to text. Learning a new phone shouldn’t be so hard, particularly for those who truly can’t figure them out!

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    • Sadly, she had to give up her landline when she moved to the Independent Living Complex. AT&T claimed that they would have to send a technician over to do some major installation, not in her apartment, but in the building itself, wherever all the wires came in. It was going to be very expensive, and her monthly rate was going to triple. (And the manager of the complex said others have land lines and no one had to do that, but AT&T remained firm on their claim.) Personally, I think they’re just phasing out landlines and don’t want to bother. But that was the point when she started using her flip phone. When the flip phone stopped working correctly, our troubles began….. Thankfully, she seems to be doing better now!

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  11. I see someone mentioned the Jitterbug already Ann. My service is through consumer cellular and I think they still have a few flip phones in their stock that do just the basics so they are out there. I’m just going to say, like many other things, our society is not great at recognizing aging, preferences or ease of use.

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    • My sister told me that Jitterbug got lousy reviews on its customer service, so she wanted to avoid that. But we did get her a flip phone at Target and it is serviced through Consumer Cellular. (So was her smart phone.) I will say that Consumer Cellular’s customer service has been quite helpful, and I’m very grateful for that. I completely agree with your last sentence….old people are basically ignored if they can’t keep up with technology, and a whole lot of technology is not designed with ease for the consumer in mind.

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  12. Hi Ann, we went through this last year with Malcolm’s mom. She is 93 and lives alone. We ended up with the Jitterbug phone, which is ‘supposedly’ made for seniors. Even that was almost impossible for her to learn. Our GP reminded us both that learning anything new at their age requires a complete reboot and lots of time and patience on our part. My husband visited her twice daily for weeks until she finally processed the basics and we figured out some tricks to help her.

    We programmed all her important numbers into the phone (with a priority assignment of 1,2,3,etc.)and taped a guide to the back of the phone. Malcolm also set the internal controls so that ‘volume’ could not be adjusted accidentally. We set up the charger in a logical place that would remind her to place it there before bedtime. She still regresses from time to time but gets back on track with a little assistance.

    Good luck to you. These are not easy transitions, (for us or them) but it seems there are a lot of us (bloggers) in the same boat. I think that sharing our experiences is helpful. Just don’t get me started on the remote control!

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    • I’ve been amazed at how many other bloggers are in the same boat, one way or another! It just goes to show that there really is a demand for simpler cell phones, especially for the elderly. Learning something completely new really is hard for many of them, as your GP said.
      We avoided the Jitterbug because my sister said its customer service got bad reviews, but I didn’t look into it personally. I don’t always trust reviews.
      Mom has figured out how to call people and answer the phone (when it rings) on her new flip phone, which is good. And I’m intrigued to read that you could set internal controls on the phone so that the volume can’t be turned down. I’ll have to look into that…it would be a huge help! Thanks! One of the best things about blogging is the suggestions that people make in the comments, as it really helps to learn from each other.

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    • Thanks, Ellen! She seems to be mastering the new flip phone, which is good. I know we’ll have a few glitches, but as long as she can usually use it, we’ll be okay. I wish we hadn’t put her through the stress of trying to learn an I-phone, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. We thought it would be simpler than the flip phone (which can be awkward and I didn’t know how to adjust it for her), but it wasn’t…it was actually much more complicated.

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  14. Don’t get me started! There’s more technology built into these devices than are often necessary. Think of the tv remote. How many of those buttons do you actually use? If there’s any cognitive impairment, the learning curve is formidable. It’s not a matter of won’t learn but can’t learn. Trouble managing the tv remote is common with cognitive impairment. My mom has dementia & can’t answer the phone anymore let alone make a call. These technologies are added to vehicles & drive up the cost of purchase & maintenance & insurance. I still prefer using the landline at home. I don’t have call display. Someone asked how I know who’s calling? to which I replied, I answer the call.

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    • You’re so right, everything is loaded with technology that we often don’t need, and when it breaks down, is quite expensive to repair. (Many car mechanics hate the stuff on the new cars, they say it’s like working on a computer and they’re right.) I hadn’t thought about the remotes, but you’re absolutely right, I don’t use more than 1/4 of the buttons. But I do sometimes push the wrong ones when I’m turning the TV off at night in the dark….. We had a landline until a couple of years ago. It kept going out anytime it rained, and we had the phone company out many times to fix it. They never could, so we just gave up and got rid of it. Which is sad, because it was handy to have when it worked!

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  15. With you all the way. Every time any device of Mum’s need replacing, we struggle to find like for like and then she struggles adapting and operating. The latest is the vacuum cleaner; they are just not designed for elderly arthritic hands to empty the dust trap. As for her phone, the relatives she has accidentally blocked by pressing the wrong button is crazy and yet the cold calls keep coming!

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    • If I understand it correctly, there are now more elderly in the world than there have ever been. So you would think that companies might actually market devices specifically to that demographic, but they don’t. (Aside from the new retirement communities that pop up everywhere.) We got rid of Mom’s old vacuum when she moved into independent living, but I gave her a small, light-weight one that she can handle. Now of course, the filter needs replacing but they don’t make that model anymore….. I’m so sorry about your mother, it sounds as if you’re in the same boat!

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  16. My mom, 80, also refuses to use a smart phone. I had to get her the only flip phone that her cell company uses. To be fair, she has trouble with this flip phone because it’s not exactly like her old one. I don’t even know what I can say about the experience…

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    • We were hoping the smart phone would actually be easier than the flip phone (I couldn’t figure out how to help her with it, as I’m not used to one), but she just couldn’t figure it out. I watched her, and she really was trying. She’s doing much better with her new flip phone, but like your mom, she’s struggling a little because it isn’t exactly like her old one. So things are much better now, but we’re not over the finish line just yet!

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  17. AMEN, Ann! My mom’s flip phone needed an upgrade, so we traded it in for a newer model flip phone. It’s still cause for concern as nothing seems to be where it’s “supposed” to be, but we’re making do. A company called Jitterbug advertises to seniors that they have an easy-to-use cell phone (flip or smart), but I don’t know anybody who has one to check if it’s all it claims to be. But you’re right: these older people have been using phones most of their life, and it’s unconscionable that somebody doesn’t invent something they can be comfortable using!

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    • That is really my biggest gripe! Why aren’t we making a phone designed for seniors? There are so many of them, and it’s not as if they don’t know how to use a regular phone. They’re just struggling with complicated smart phones. It’s cruel not to provide them with something so necessary to their peace of mind and personal safety! I know some seniors do fine with the smart phones, but many more do not.
      My sister looked into Jitterbug but was unimpressed with the reviews. Another reader commented that her mother-in-law struggled with it too. I feel your pain with your mother…my mom’s new flip phone isn’t exactly like her old one either, so she’s still trying to learn something new. It’s much easier for her, but still an effort.

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  18. I sympathize with your mother’s struggle with modern technology. While I have become reasonably proficient with my smartphone, I still need help with some more advanced features. Phones have turned into miniature computers with all their incredible complexities.

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    • I can use my smart phone the way I want to (phone, text, email and photos), but I still have to ask my kids occasional questions about the settings. And it has tons of apps on it I never use. I didn’t download them, they came with the phone and take up storage. I wish we could pick and choose what apps we want on our phones. Thanks for the comment, Peter!

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  19. Yikes. My mother was 89 when she passed Nov. of 2021. She had her desk top computer, her laptop, and her tablet. She loved her Apple smart watch and her iPhone. She had her hearing aids blue tooth enabled to the phone so she could hear when you called. She was so technologically connected that if she misplaced her phone or tablet it was the end of the world… My mother in law on the other hand has a smart phone but won’t carry it and I don’t think she uses it. They have a land line and if she wants to call then that’s what she uses! Maybe a land line would be the better option.

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    • Oh, you were so lucky that your mom understood how to use technology so well! A friend of mine gave his dad an I-pad, and his dad used it to read the paper, email people, look things up, etc. It was a real blessing to him! My mom, not so much. Seniors, I guess, are like every other group, they are a variety of individuals. I wish a land line was still an option for her, but we couldn’t transfer her old land line to her new apartment in in the retirement community without paying a ton of money. Plus, the cell phone is something she can take with her when she’s out of her apartment, so that’s good. At the time, she learned how to use her cell phone pretty well. But things have changed in the last few years…..learning new things is now much harder for her.

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  20. I’m with you! My mom’s of similar age, but decided long ago she would NOT embrace technology. Maybe a stiff smile and polite wave as she walks away, but there will be no hugging! That happened about the same time card catalogues were dumped from the Public Libraries.
    And we both complain about the fact that online is the default for things like making medical appointments. We want to talk to a person for some things. But maybe they’re anticipating the time when we both die off! SMH.

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    • Yes, that’s a good point! My mom doesn’t use the internet, which means that her access to many things is being cut off. And that’s just cruel! Why do we assume that everyone has easy internet access? I have to say, I use technology, but I also understand your mom’s point of view. There’s nothing like being able to talk to a real, live person….

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  21. Hi Ann – I COMPLETELY relate to this story. When my mother’s flip phone stopped working, my siblings decided to get her an iPhone. All she wanted was the same thing she had. I really wanted to get her a Jitterbug phone, but I was outvoted. Anyway, she learned the basics but it was a constant source of frustration for her. She refused to receive calls on it, because she didn’t understand the swipe concept, so we all called her on the landline. She only made calls with it but would constantly press a button that made the keypad disappear. I once got a angry voicemail from her telling me she wanted to “throw this phone out.” I wish there were more devices that were simpler for older people to use. I hope your mom is coping okay with hers.

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    • It makes me sad to think of the frustration that the complicated phones are causing, especially among the elderly who have enough challenges as it is. I mentioned the Jitterbug to my sister, but she said the customer service reviews weren’t good. Now that we’ve gone back to a basic flip phone, though, she is doing better. (But it’s a good thing she doesn’t like to text…have you ever tried to text on one of those things??? ) And I’m sorry to hear your mom had the same sort of problems as mine!

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  22. My mom struggled with the same phone issues before she passed away. Unless you have witnessed how hard this is on everyone in the whole family, it would be difficult to understand. I do wish there could be a solution for the older people who really struggle with new technology. And the worst part is that they usually love to talk on the phone! We need to check on our elders and they like to be social!!! I am sorry, Ann! It is so frustrating!

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    • I know, Linda! That’s what makes it so frustrating. I need to be able to call my mom often, and she needs to be able to call me and my sisters whenever she wants or needs to. So having a phone she can operate is essential, and shouldn’t be this hard! Luckily, she’s getting the hang of her flip phone (mostly) so I see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sorry to hear your mom also struggled…it seems that far to many do!

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    • Yes, the comments have been heartening, because I also thought, “is it just my mom who can’t do this?” But it absolutely isn’t. While many seniors do master new gadgets just fine, many others don’t. And there really needs to be phone options for them that are simple enough to allow them to have access to reliable phone service!

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    • There’s a definite trick to it. Even when I got my latest smart phone, I struggled because my old phone swiped to the side, and my new phone swipes from the bottom up. Not that they mentioned that in the packaging or the instructions……

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  25. My mother prefered the landline ‘phone, but we also set up Skype on her tablet so that she could make cheap international calls and as the layout was clear, she could manage that.
    My husband’s hands are badly paralysed, so he cannot use a mobile ‘phone and relies on the landline. The lines went down recently and we were trying to find something he could use without success. Finally got the land line back, thank goodness.

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    • That’s why we finally gave up our landline (without caller ID, we were true dinosaurs): the phone stopped working every time it rained and the phone company could never figure out how to fix it. I’m glad your land line is working again so your husband has access to a phone. No one should be cut off from that!

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    • Yes, I saw those ads and suggested trying one, but my sister said they didn’t get good reviews for their customer service. I didn’t read them, so I can’t really judge, though. But she’s doing better at using her new flip phone. I showed her how to check that the volume was on, and I think she understood (although I’m sure there will be glitches.) My main worry now is that if she pushes the speaker button when she’s not on a call, that turns off the ringer. Even if the volume is on its highest level. So, I’m going to see if there’s a way to disable that!

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  27. There are all kinds of simpler phones out there. The Jitterbug Flip2 runs on the Verizon network, and the primary ‘downside’ most people talk about is an inability to connect to the internet. Of course, if you only want to place phone calls and text, that doesn’t matter.

    I’ve always been a slow adopter, but I confess to loving my iPhone, The trick with any new technology is (1) learning what it can do, (2) choosing what you want to do, and then (3) eliminating the features you don’t want to use. Just because some company (or your friends) tell you that you “have” to have this feature or that piece of new tech, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell them to go away and stop bothering you. That’s one reason I intend to keep my 2011 Corolla running until I can no longer drive. I don’t want a car with all the bells and whistles; most bells are useless and whistles usually are annoying.

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    • I get it! I’m hoping never to have another new car, as the one I’m driving now is complicated enough. I have no need or desire for a car with elaborate features, as they mostly just annoy me.
      My sister was the one who actually picked out Mom’s phone. (She lives out of town and that was how she helped.) I asked her about the Jitterbug, and she said it got bad reviews on customer service. We honestly thought we could teach Mom to use the smart phone by not activating the emails, etc., but that didn’t work. She truly couldn’t remember the instructions, and the phone itself made no sense to her. It didn’t help that random notifications popped up every time she turned it on, and I didn’t know how to disable them. Mom couldn’t distinguish between what she could ignore and what she had to pay attention to. Now that she’s using a new flip phone, things are better. It runs on Consumer Cellular, and I will say they have been very good in terms of customer service, which is a huge plus!

      Thanks, as always, for your comment! Your comments are always full of useful information, and I really do appreciate that!

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      • And I appreciate your note about Consumer Cellular. I’ve been thinking about switching to them from Verizon, simply because I don’t need the 5GB of data that’s Verizon’s minimum now. I may finally make the jump.

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  28. Wow, you certainly have hit a hot button with your post! I was going to suggest Jitterbug too but haven’t had any experience with it myself. You could have written a similar post about cars, TVs, and many of the modern “conveniences” we endure. I have a friend who is an auto mechanic of a high-end brand of car. Even though he knows a lot about cars, he hates all the useless bells and whistles too. He has said more than once, “I just want to drive a toaster.”

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    • Yes, I’ve heard many mechanics say the same thing! They add all these computers to cars, and all they do is break down and are very difficult and expensive to fix. Ditto with washers and dryers, and most other appliances these days. The simpler, the better as far as I’m concerned. When did the people who like all things complicated become the ones who determined what the rest of us have to use? I’d really like to know that!

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  29. Did you know you can get a wireless corded “landline” through Consumer Cellular? You buy the base and plug the corded phone into it. You can get corded sets that that have as many as 4 additional phones for other rooms. It costs $15/month plus taxes. The base costs less than $100 and the corded phones can be purchased at Walmart. Consumer Cellular service is fabulous and they offer AARP discounts. I highly recommend this. Had mine about a year and you can port over your old number too.

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    • I didn’t know that, but it sounds wonderful! Right now, Mom seems to have mastered her new flip phone, or at least be well on the way to mastering it. (I’ve taught her how to check if the volume is on, and someone said it might be possible to make it impossible to lower the volume. I’m going to look into that.) But if this flip phone doesn’t work, then going back to a landline is the best option, and the traditional landlines weren’t an option at her new retirement complex. (So the phone company said, I think they just weren’t interested). But what your talking about would work and would be very reasonable. Thank you so much!!!

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  30. Well, I don’t know if they’re any different from the one your mom has now, but TracFone offers (offered?) some less-complicated cell phones. I haven’t looked at their website since before my backup TracFone was out-G’d, lol, but who knows. All I know is my husband’s every phone since the flip one is usually beyond him. He … Well, it’s an iPhone, which is to me much harder than Androids to figure out. It’s a love-hate thing, at best.

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    • I have an iPhone, which I know how to work, but Androids are foreign to me too. I think we all do best with what we’re used to, especially those of us who aren’t interested in most of the apps that come with phones these days. I haven’t heard of TracFone, but I’ll look into that, thank you! The flip phone we finally got Mom was from Target, and it’s served by Consumer Cellular. So far, they have been very easy to work with, thank goodness.

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  31. I too was going to suggest the Jitterbug option as it appears to be the most-advertised, but I don’t have first-hand knowledge of it. I can identify with the general struggle of technology. My mother accepted the computer age to a point, and liked her desktop computer just fine…as long as she only did a finite number of things on it. She got anxious when I tried to show her new things that I know would have enhanced her experience and would have liked once the muscle memory of repetition would set in, but she wanted no part of expanding her knowledge of computing outside of emails and Internet shopping. With the population continuing to skew older, someone at some point should be taking up the cause of making phones for older folks that provide a quality service in an easy-to-use design.

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    • That’s what I’m thinking! People are living longer than ever before, and some elderly people truly aren’t capable of learning how to work new technology, especially something with as many (in their case, non-intuitive) options as a smart phone. So why aren’t companies making more simple phones available? They’d be snatched up, I’m sure!
      My Mom truly tried to learn to use a smart phone, but it was beyond her. Some things should could learn if she wanted to, but the smart phone wasn’t one of them, sadly. I also think that the fear of “messing the phone up” made her so anxious that learning was almost impossible. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  32. My 80 year old brother in law refuses anything but a flip phone and will occasionally peck his way thru a text but really if you want him you call him. My mom, once upon a time, had a flip phone for emergencies but now just using the regular land phone is becoming a challenge because of her site. Landlines are fairly easy to still get here but yes technology keeps demanding we keep learning. I don’t want to get left behind so keep working hard on all of it. Sometimes takes me a few tries to make my way back and successfully do whatever it was again but usually I manage it. Bernie

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    • I admire your brother for managing to text on his flip phone even occasionally! That’s more than I can do… My mom did fine with her landline, but that didn’t transfer into her new apartment when she moved to a retirement facility. So now we make do with her flip phone, and she is getting much better at it, thankfully. Good for you to keep working on learning new technology! That’s what I do too. But I do wish that there wasn’t quite so much learning required. It would be nice if something could be both new and simple, you know?

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  33. Oh my gosh you are sooo right. And I see many people agreed with you, there are tons of comments on this post. Why can’t someone sell a very basic phone with big buttons that just makes calls, simulating a normal phone???? My mom even had trouble using her flip phone. My husband tried programming in speed dial numbers and put a sticker “directory” on the back, but she could not get that. And she was always accidentally calling the wrong person, possibly hitting redial the last call or something.

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    • Yes, that’s what is really needed: a cell phone that looks and acts like a landline phone…the kind they were used to using. There’s no reason someone couldn’t manufacture that! We tried taping directions to the back of Mom’s phone, too, but it didn’t help her either. It’s just too much to read when she’s trying to answer a ringing phone, and she would simply get flustered. And like most people, when she’s flustered, she doesn’t think straight. I’m thank fun she can (mostly) manage her new flip phone, for now at least!

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  34. I feel your pain and frustration, Ann. I’m not surprised your mom finds her new phone difficult to manage. There are far too many options and apps on them for the average person, let alone someone who’s elderly. My Mum used to have one of those old-fashioned Nokia phones with buttons on the front. It wasn’t even a flip phone. She did eventually master it but could only use the basic functions, which was fine. I also have an 85-year-old friend who lives a long way from me now. Her daughter bought her an iPhone (to replace her broken Nokia), and she could never get the hang of it either. Fortunately, we managed to order a good old-fashioned big-button Nokia (made for older folk) from Amazon, and it’s been perfect for her. As far as I know, it doesn’t have all the unwanted apps. It’s also a flip phone. If it would help, I’ve saved the details to my Amazon Lists and could let you have the link. I’m sure you could get the same one from Amazon over there.

    Incidentally, my daughter’s mother-in-law has dementia and is partly deaf. Social Services have given her a special phone, although it’s a landline, and I appreciate you’ve been down that route, but it has pictures of my daughter, both her sons and her daughter-in-law, so all she has to do is touch the image. Clever stuff.

    In general, I feel that the world isn’t kitted out for older people anymore. It seems if you can’t keep up with the technology, you get totally left out. I count myself lucky at 65, I have an iPhone and laptop (I don’t need an iPad), and I don’t have any of these problems – yet! Good luck. X

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  35. At the risk of a corny pun, I hear ya, Ann. My mom has lost the ability to operate a phone. If she winds up at a care facility, I think it would be a lost effort to get her a phone. But, at the same time, I would want the ability to call her, and vice versa. Arg! I am still trying to solve this issue.

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  36. I’m sorry for laughing but this is EXACTLY what happened with me when I got my mother a smart phone. She hated it from the get for all the reasons you listed here. She says she gets strange numbers on her screen and that it’s recording her and well . . this was a miss on my part. So I, like you, will be getting her a flip phone. Oh well, we tried!

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    • Oh, yes, that’s the biggest problemI have with my smart phone too! I can put it down somewhere and walk off…..and not realize until late that I have no idea where my phone is. There really was something to be said for those phones attached to the walls, with receivers attached to the phone with a cord!

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    • Thanks so much for the link, Dave! It’s great information. My sister was actually the one who picked which phone to buy for Mom, and she said the Jitterbug got bad reviews for customer service. I didn’t look into it personally, so I really don’t know. But it got high ratings on the link you sent, so it must have gotten better. It is good to know that some companies are making phones designed for seniors. They really are an underserved segment of society, with the exception of all the retirement centers that are constantly popping up! Thanks again…that was very nice of you!

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      • Well, there are phones, and there are service plans. I’m not familiar with Jitterbug apart from seeing ads in Parade so I can’t speak to whether they only have one service plan provider. I’m guessing at least some of those other phones may give options as far as providers.

        For what it’s worth, I think AARP partners with Consumer Cellular, which seems to have a decent reputation. (I’m not an AARP customer, but I do use Consumer Cellular. They’ve done ok – and they’re local, which is a selling point for me.)

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  40. I could relate to what you say Ann. We has similar experience with my mom who isn’t 80 yet but using a smart phone is quite an challenge for her. After many trial and errors she asked for a mobile where she can press numbers. Luckily she remembers phone numbers of almost everyone she wants to get in touch. She picks up a phone if she sees a name and that’s all 😊.

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  41. I’d love to have a plain ol’ phone. Simply for communication. I love a smart phone, but like you said, sometimes someone doesn’t need all that access (or maybe we need it sometimes but not all the time.) My momma absolutely loved her iPhone. She took many pictures, did iCloud, and had an iTunes play list. ❤️ My dad- flip phone guy. Finally converted to a smartphone last year. I’d love a flip phone for my kiddo. My aunts in Iowa are like your momma- simply want a phone. Love that.

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    • A friend of mine’s father used an I-pad happily for years! Some older people have no problem mastering new technology, while others struggle with it. (And let’s be honest, some of us who are a bit younger can struggle with technology too.) That’s why I think there needs to be more simple phones available to the public, so that those who have no desire for a complicated smart phone don’t have to bother with one. I rarely use most of the apps on my phone, they’re just taking up storage space!

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  42. We thought about getting my dad a smart phone. This reminds me how glad I am that we did not. It is frustrating and confusing for someone who hasn’t been using one. I know I’m on the cusp of understanding mine (haha). It’s always disconcerting when you can’t get a hold of them though. I do wish they would come up with something. Sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like when we are in the same position and how far flung technology will be by then. Will we be able to make a simple phone call? I hope so. Take care, Ann!

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    • At the rate technology is changing, it’s very hard to predict what things will be like when we’re in the retirement homes. (There’s a very good chance the world will be run by AI by then, but I’m not at all convinced that will be a good thing.) And yes, it’s very worrying when we can’t reach our parents, especially if they live alone. That’s a big part of why we switched Mom back to a flip phone….I made several “emergency” trips to her apartment just because she wasn’t answering her phone. I figured she was probably ok, but I had to check to make sure!

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  43. I can understand yours and your moms frustration about cell phones. My dad gave up on his cell phone years ago because he never used it. And even when he did it confused him somewhat. My dad has always had a portable landline phone though that he takes calls on. But at his age now, he rarely will make a call anymore. He will talk to my brother when he calls but it’s gotten much harder for him to hear too. All in all, he still enjoys the rest of what he can do at his age. Best wishes to you and your mom Ann.

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    • Thank you so much! Have you looked into the phones that amplify the voice? That might help you dad. I know there are also phones that allow you to read what is being said. Just a thought, I’m sure you’ve probably already explored that. I’m so glad that your dad is still able to do most of what he wants to, though. That’s huge!

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      • Yes, for a man who is going to be 93 this year, he still does his own laundry and microwaves many of his meals if he doesn’t like what we cook. He is noticing that replacing the sheets on his bed now by himself if a little tiring. I usually jump in and help him with that now. He still takes his tricycle out around the subdivision every so often too. But otherwise he plays computer games like solitaire and Fishdome. As well as doodles with some crafts. But his vision isn’t as good either so the crafting he doesn’t do as often. As for the phones for the hearing impaired, he still has trouble hearing people and the ones you can read what people say, it’s hard for him to read that print. I’ve been thinking about seeing if he wants to see an eye doctor again even though he said the last doc told him that he didn’t need new glasses. That was years ago and I wasn’t with him then.

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  44. We had basic phones with consumer cellular for a couple of years before we noticed two things, they use your home Wi-Fi for service and when we were out and needed Uber or Lyft or a taxi the service was always out area and we couldn’t connect even if we were just a mile away at the doctors. Now we switched to T-Mobile never had that problem again. We also have iPhones where we can click on specific apps.

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    • I’ll have to look into that, because Mom’s new flip phone is serviced through consumer cellular. I don’t know if it’s using her building’s Wi-Fi service, but it’s worth finding out. Thanks!

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  45. Oh, Ann, I can relate. My dad is 92, and there is no way he can use a smartphone. I got him a flip phone years ago, and that was almost too hard for him. To be honest, I don’t even use half of the features on my smartphone. Sigh. I totally agree that a simple version would make a lot of sense and be very well received! Sending you strength!

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  47. This to is “progress”. Nothing is simple any more. I am having a hard time finding a range (stove-oven combination) that doesn’t have WiFi. It is a stove it doesn’t need WiFi. Again, with “progress” we are forced to have things that we don’t want and are completely unnecessary. I thought the “Jitterbug” was just a simple flip phone.

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  48. As technology advances, it can be challenging for elderly individuals to keep up with the latest gadgets, especially smartphones. It is crucial to ensure that they stay connected with their loved ones, and a smartphone seems like the perfect solution. However, transitioning from a flip phone to a smartphone can be a daunting task for them. Hope it is good for us!

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    • Yes, I’m hoping that smart phones become easier to use, especially for older people. If my mom could learn to text and check things on the internet with her phone, that would actually be a good thing. But she can’t do it the way the phones are configured now. Luckily, she can use her flip phone for calling and receiving calls, so that helps a lot. Thanks of much for your comment!

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    • That they are! The biggest surprise I ever got on an appliance was the time we were on vacation and the stove top actually popped up with a recipe as I was trying to fry eggs. The recipe was for clam chowder, so why the stove thought I wanted to see it just then, don’t ask me. But seriously, I don’t need a stove that comes with recipes!

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