Fair Enough

/ Ann Coleman

IMG_6242Mom’s outside doing some yard work, so I’m taking the opportunity to write another blog post for her.  I’ve written a few already, and they’ve been very well received, if I do say so myself.  Still, it’s been a long time since she’s invited me to write a guest post.  I’d like to think that’s just because Mom is a bit forgetful, and not because she’s getting a little jealous that maybe my blog posts are a tiny bit better than hers.  But for whatever the reason, I got tired of waiting for an invitation and since Mom’s not exactly a fast worker, so I’ve got plenty of time to do it now.

Unless, of course, she happens to discover some of the “treasure” I’ve buried in the back yard, in which case I can think of one or two items that will probably bring her storming back into the house, looking for yours truly.  I’m not quite sure why she gets so upset why I sneak off with some of her granddaughter’s baby toys, because face it:  dog chew toys and baby chew toys look exactly the same and I can’t resist any of them.  That’s why I like to hide a few in the back yard, to play with when I’m outside.  But last week she was searching everywhere for the baby’s favorite teething toy, and then she began throwing suspicious glances my way.  Suffice it to say, if she unearths a certain rubber giraffe, I’m got some explaining to do.

4fpVgBptSf+s5gvff1HMRwWhich brings me to the point of this post.  As much as I like living with my human family, (and I really do love them), I can’t help but notice that there’s a certain unfairness in the way the different members of the family are treated.  Just because I happen to have fur and walk around on four legs, I often have to abide by a totally different set of rules.  Take the aforementioned toys, for instance.  I’m perfectly willing to share my toys with babies and children, and believe me, when the adults aren’t looking, they play with my toys.  But if I dare to pick up one of their toys, I’m immediately told to “drop it,” as if I’ve done something horrible.  And they insist on washing the toys before they return them to the child or baby in question, which is just plain insulting.

Also, the humans in my family never have to “relieve themselves” outside.  But I’m expected to do my business outside all the time, in all kinds of weather.  Once when it had been storming all day, I really had to go.  But I knew if I let my parents know that, they’d put me out in the yard.  So I went downstairs and took care of my problem there.  Just so you know:  no matter how badly you have to go, never, ever, pee on the leg of your dad’s pool table.  You wouldn’t believe how upset he’ll get, even though a pool table leg does look an awful lot like a tree trunk.

You see what I mean about unfairness?  It can be a tough pill to swallow sometimes, but luckily, we dogs are nothing if not forgiving.  And steady meals, a warm bed, and plentiful dog treats make up for a lot.  But mostly, I know they love me and I love them, and that’s all that really counts anyway. 

Love, Finn

88 thoughts on “Fair Enough”

  1. Ah, Finn I know the rules are hard to follow at times but it is in your own best interest to do so. For your sake I hope you can resist the temptations of the baby toys (even if there really isn’t any difference)! I would think you would rather be outside with your two-legger to steer her away from the *cough* contraband!

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    • Thank you! That’s a good idea. Now that I’m done with my blog post, I think I’ll head outside and make sure Mom doesn’t find anything incriminating. Love, Finn

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  2. I know what you mean, Finn, going down stairs to do your business, believe me I know. When I start downstairs on my own, I get chased after & yelled at to come back upstairs. Rose

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    • Isn’t it terrible they way they don’t trust us? Just pee on something you aren’t supposed to even once, and you’ve got a reputation for the rest of your life. I’m sorry it’s happened to you too, Rose! Love, Finn

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  3. Dear Finn,
    I know what you mean about all that “treasure”. It’s everywhere isn’t it, tempting, and I figure what’s left lying around is good for all. I’ve been feeling a bit neglected lately cos mum’s had a bad cold and hasn’t been out walking for a week. Still, it’s been kinda nice looking after her inside. You might want to hold off peeing inside. I can tell you I get told off big time every time I relieve myself on the spare bed. Don’t know why mum gets so upset cos I’m an old dog and sometimes accidents just happen. Anywhere, maybe leave that giraffe alone, some rules are there to protect us!
    Love, Harry 🐶

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    • Thanks, Harry! I’m sorry your mum isn’t feeling good, but glad you’re taking good care of her. And don’t feeling guilty about peeing inside…I don’t think old dogs should ever be made to go outside in bad weather, and that includes any day that the weather isn’t absolutely perfect. You just do the best you can! And I’ll try to leave the giraffe alone, but it’s so hard. It’s such a great texture and you should hear the squeak! Love, Finn

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      • Yeah, my human sister who’s all grown up now, used to have a little Tigger that squeaked so I know what you mean!
        And yep, I’m taking good care of mum, sleeping next to her right now. Have a good day!
        Harry 🐶

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  5. Hey Finn. Room and board comes with obligations and responsibilities. I know it can be tough to follow all the rules, but do your best to keep your Hoomin happy. A Happy Hoomin is a generous Hoomin. Maybe, if you know where that giraffe is, you could unearth it and leave it where it can be found. At least make arf an effort. In the meantime stay well and look after your Hoomins as best you can. Allan

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    • Thank you, Mr. Allan! That is good advice. My hoomins can be a little slow on the uptake, but I do need to try harder to do as they ask. And I’ll give back the giraffe, just as soon as I remember where I buried it…….

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  7. What a clever post, Ann! Adorable! I feel so lame because it took me two paragraphs to catch on. LOL – I thought you had your mother writing a post for you – literally! I started scratching my head when I reached the part about the chew toys. I had to go back and when I saw the dog picture, I figured it out!
    You’re keeping me on my toes, Ann!
    I am very gullible, indeed!

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    • Oh, please don’t feel lame, Judy! When the original post was done it was far too long, so I cut a bunch out of it, including the all important sentence in the first paragraph that went something like, “Mom says I’m a good writer, for a dog.” Taking that out made it a bit harder to figure out this was being written by my dog, Finn. Just goes to show there’s such a thing as too much editing!

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      • No worries, Ann. Yes you’re right – if that sentence was there I wouldn’t of had any doubt it was you dog. But I think it was kind of fun to discover it later on. I was laughing out loud. 🤣🤣🤣
        But I know how it is when we go over our writing and change things until we are satisfied. Even after doing that I still catch things in my writing and I completely understand!

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    • That’s what I think too, Miss Janis! But as for getting my own blog, I don’t think I’ll do that because if it’s more successful than Mom’s, that might make her feel bad. You know how it is with humans…they like to think they’re more advanced than animals, and we dogs humor them! Love, Finn

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  10. good one Finn, you are there to ensure they are grateful for what they got!

    Maybe it’s time to start an exclusive dog club there to protest the differing treatment and the fact that they don’t provide an inside tree when you need to pee! Over where I live dogs are treated very equally … often gently ferried about in prams. Yea just like the one their baby sits in. Here you get your very own pram and baby clothes, no competition … maybe coz they call you a “substitute child”? No idea what that means

    But keep writing Finn, by the way you’re a great speller!

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    • I’ve heard about dogs in prams, but I’ve never actually gotten to ride in one! Maybe it is time to organize a union and demand better treatment? But then again, I know Mom and Dad try their best, even when they don’t quite come up to snuff. And thank you, I will keep writing as much as I can! Love, Finn

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  12. Such a clever post. When I read the first paragraph, I thought that perhaps your son or daughter had taken control of your blog without your permission! But then as the story progressed and the true writer was revealed, I can only say that his droll, existential musings resonated with me!

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  14. Dear Finn
    I’m with you bro. This peeing in the rain business is just not on. I have been thinking about writing a novel about this because I have so many stories. As for that pool table leg, it was asking for it.
    Good onya mate, keep up the good work.
    Woof.
    Fynn.

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  15. Hey, Finn Buddy! If there is another species I love over all of those who walk our home planet, it’s yours! What you are forgetting, or perhaps not aware of, is the fact that a human baby’s immune system is much more different than yours and can go bonkers if exposed to certain bio-chemical stuff that you can handle with panache. Perhaps your mom, being the reasonable human she is, should consider installing a canine toilet in the establishment. Remember though, the onus will be on you to use it appropriately and clean it too to acceptable levels. Lastly, I am not sure if you have heard of one Mikhail Bulgakov or read his books: apparently mixing of humans and canines beyond a point may spell trouble for both.

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    • That’s a good point, and thanks for that! I’d just assumed the baby and I could share, but you’re right: babies don’t have nearly as good of an immune system or digestive system as dogs, so I guess I should be more careful. And I love your idea of an indoor dog toilet. Honestly, I thought that’s what the pool table leg was! I’ll have Mom look up that book for me so I can read it. She has to do it, because another unfair thing in this world is that dogs aren’t allowed in bookstores or in libraries. See what I mean about unfair?

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  17. Awesome Finn!! I love it when you write. But, I think your Mom (Ann) would be very forgiving if you were supporting her with additional income. Think of all the “new” pool table legs you could buy or all the toys you could have? You really have a point on the baby toys and dog toys look and act the same. I think you need to ask the children to “help” you dig and store the treasure in the back yard! What fun for all to watch as Mom goes crazy trying to locate them.🤣🤣😂 Enjoy the Spring weather and go give those sad doggie eyes to your Mom, she will forgive you. ❤️

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  21. Finn, you have learned a valuable lesson….life ain’t fair (it sounds better when you use bad grammar). Don’t worry though, humans feel the same way.
    You do make a very good point about toys. How are you supposed to know which toys are verboten? Hang in there!

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    • It sure isn’t! And I guess you’re right, life often isn’t fair for humans too. But it really is so very hard to know the difference between the toys for the grandchildren and the toys for me that you’d think my parents would be a little more understanding. Thanks for you comment, Ms Kim! Mom says to tell you she misses you, and that things at the shelter are fine.

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  23. Oh, now I wonder if I should lock up the keyboard whilst I’m out. Those cats have definitely shown an interest–didn’t think it was for blogging. And cats are not nearly as affirming as dogs–they’d go on to complain, or to tell our darker secrets.

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    • Well, if you’re sure you don’t want your cats do write a guest post on your blog, I’d definitely lock up your keyboard while you’re out, or even take it with you. I’d suggest putting a strong password on your blog account, but believe me, the cats would figure it out. There’s a reason we pets watch our humans all the time…we learn all their secrets! (I know Mom’s amazon password, and as soon as I can figure out a way to get her credit card out of her purse, I’m going to order myself TONS of new dog toys……)

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  24. Hello Finn,
    Good idea writing your post when she was outside. Mom doesn’t let me blog much because she says it’s difficult to sit at her computer with 25 lbs. of beagle on her lap. I used to think the rules that they had for me were bad until the cat move in. That cat is always getting into trouble for something. When mom caught him on the counter and the table she was very upset and though he hasn’t done it lately she still doesn’t trust him. He gets in trouble for digging his claws into furniture too and mom won’t even let him sit on her lap because he digs his claws in there too. That’s okay with me because that means her lap is all mine. (Dad let’s the cat come on his lap when I’m there. I don’t like to share a lap.) I haven’t peed inside for along time and that makes them very happy. I like being a good boy – most of the time. The cat has a box inside where he can pee but dad was NOT happy when he tipped it over twice! Man I’m so glad I’m not a cat!
    Take care and be good to your people.
    Ranger

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    • It’s good to hear from you, Ranger! My family doesn’t have a cat, so I didn’t realize how much harder they had it. Personally, I think that any family with a dog is complete and doesn’t actually need a cat, but I’ve heard that some humans don’t share that point of view. But that’s okay….variety is the spice of life, they say! Love, Finn

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  25. Oh, Finn, you precious boy! Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning. You make some excellent points about baby and doggie chew toys looking alike, and why adults feel the need to wash the baby’s things after you’ve touched them is puzzling. Maybe they are recalling all those times you licked yourself THERE?? Or those things you picked up outside — dead bugs, poo, etc.? But it was your mention of the pool table pee that really got me giggling (though I’ll bet a big boy like you pees way more than a puppy like my Sully!)

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    • I think you’re right about the washing thing! Mom always tells me to knock it off when I’m attending to my personal hygiene, which makes no sense at all because that’s how I keep clean. And she really doesn’t like it when I eat dog poop! Not sure why….aren’t we supposed to recycle as much as we can? But still, I try to be a good dog and obey the rules. When they’re looking, anyway! Love, Finn

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  26. Hi Finn, It is so good to hear from you. I understand what you mean that we, the fur babies have to abide by a different set of rules. After dinner, I usually comfortably rest on a chair in the kitchen but then pushed away from the chair when my human family wants to eat too. That is too bad that even in stormy weather, you are expected to go outside. No wonder you preferred to remain silent and went downstairs…I hope you are having a good day! Meow, Fiber

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    • Fiber, I’m glad I’m not the only one this happens to! How rude to make you move off the chair when you were there first, just because they want to sit there to eat. I bet they don’t get up off the chair when you want to sit on it, do they? See what I mean? One set of rules for them, and another set of rules for us. It’s a good thing we love them so! Love, Finn

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  27. Finn, you are a wise dog. I’m sorry that you can’t distinguish between baby chew toys and doggy chew toys, but who could blame you. They look very similar and slobber is slobber. As for peeing on the leg of your dad’s pool table, clearly that is all his fault for choosing legs that look like trees. I’m sorry to have to say that, but you have place blame where it belongs.

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    • Well that’s what I thought at the time, but was too embarrassed to say so. I really had to go, and when I saw what looked very much like a tree inside, I figured I’d just found the indoor dog toilet and acted accordingly. If you don’t want your dog to pee on something, then don’t make it look like an indoor dog toilet is what I say! Love, Finn

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  32. Dear Finn, I hear ya, and I second the motion. Toys are toys! If they’re reachable, I own ’em. And, since I’m older, let me just say you will always enjoy your favorite. I still love tossing my little piggy around. He has been with me since puppy hood. He no longer looks real good, but everyone knows he has my scent all over him. Until next time…Love, Shorty

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    • Thanks, Shorty! It’s good to hear from someone who understands exactly where I’m coming from. If our humans don’t want us to have something, why do they leave it in our reach? Love, Finn

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    • They really do! Sometimes, even the treats are hard to tell apart. Mom volunteers at an animal shelter, and sometimes she brings home cookies that look just like the kind that humans eat, only they’re made for dogs! (Which is great, because then they are ALL mine!) Love, Finn

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  36. Finn’s so helpful! I laughed at his high-jinx, burying your granddaughter’s toys and at his sense of unfairness, which all makes sense by the way. I love these “the mind of Finn” posts. Unconditional (or nearly so) love is all that matters in the end and forgiveness of course. =)

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  38. What an insightful critter you are, Finn! I have had dogs most of my life and now have a cat (easier to care for if you travel a lot). She gives me the most sarcastic look if I criticize anything she does. Such attitude! I do miss the love and enthusiasm of dogs.

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