Taking Control

/ Ann Coleman

I’m not the sort of person who courts controversy.  In fact, it’s usually something that I avoid at all costs.  No one can run away from an argument quicker than I can, and I  usually read people well enough to know what they do and do not want to hear me say.  Yes, there are times when I slip up and blurt out something that gives great offense.  But that’s usually when I’m talking to my husband or my kids, and can’t resist the urge to offer a bit of motherly or wifely advice that is most certainly not wanted.  In general, I’ve always had great confidence in my ability to avoid offending people or starting an unwanted argument.

Until recently, that is.

I first noticed the change when the Covid-19 virus showed up, followed by the shelter at home orders.  I quickly realized that sharing my opinion on the subject was a risky thing to do, even when I intended my words to be comforting or reassuring.  I also realized that there were times when my own nerves were so raw that I wasn’t willing or even able to silence my true opinion and offer up the words that someone else wanted to hear.  The time had come, it seemed, when sometimes silence was the best response I could give.

And when parts of our country began a gradual lifting of the quarantine restrictions, the situation only became worse.  People had very strong opinions on the subject, and understandably so.  What was harder to understand was the absolute intolerance that many people had for anyone who didn’t absolutely share their opinion.  Once again, silence seemed to be the safe response.

Then came the murder of George Floyd, which triggered the nation-wide protests that have been going on for the past couple of weeks.  The news and social media is full of images of peaceful protests, both large and small, as well as images of mob violence.  And of course everyone has an opinion about it all, which is normal.  Sadly, many people are also convinced that their own opinion and is the only proper one and that anyone who thinks differently deserves to be treated like garbage.

I’m not sure how we have come to this, but I am sure I don’t like it.  Our country is dealing with some very real and very hard issues right now, at a time when most everyone’s nerves are basically shot from being quarantined for weeks.  I get that it’s much easier to lash out at someone that to try, even for a second, to see things from someone else’s point of view.  But I also know that there’s only so much hate and nastiness that the world can take.

I don’t want to live in a world where I have to be afraid of people who are different from me.  I don’t want to hesitate before I push the “like” button on a Facebook post because I’m afraid someone who disagrees with that post might be upset.  I want to be considerate of other people’s feelings, but I don’t want to remain silent solely out of fear of the response I’ll get if I dare to say what I really think.

Which means I have, basically, two choices.  I can live in fear of offending people who are all too ready to be offended,  or I can find the courage to be my genuine self and risk being attacked for it.  And I’ve decided to go with the second choice.  Because if I want to live in a world where people really are allowed to be true to themselves, then I have to be willing to be true to myself first.

108 thoughts on “Taking Control”

  3. You are the most diplomatic person I’ve ever seen. I think you say your course with tact, dignity and respect. Every single time. Though I think I’m more likely than you to spout off my opinion, I actually do try to remain neutral. And yet, I am siding with you. I am willing to risk being hated, yelled at, argued with, dismissed and unsubscribed from. I’m mad, angry, sad and frustrated. I am now just saying what I feel and I don’t care, mainly, because well, I just don’t care anymore…great post as always

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you! I really appreciate it. And I’ve read your recent posts. You are being honest about what you believe and feel, but you are not being hateful about it at all. Honestly, reading your posts was one of the inspirations for this post. You shouldn’t be shamed for what you believe, and you shouldn’t have to fear backlash for being honest. The most important thing is not to hurt each other…..

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    • Thank you! We are all on edge, as this pandemic has dragged on so long. Which makes the recent incidents that much worse. But if we can’t have civil discourse, I don’t believe we will ever solve anything or find our way forward. I know others believe differently, but that’s what I believe.

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  6. Your second choice is a good one. When offering a thought/opinion on something that is a sensitive issue, choice of words can go a long way to avoiding a conflict. I will never tell anybody what they should do … but I “may suggest that they consider” …… (whatever). I will never assume that my opinions are the only valid opinions because I am not an expert on anything. My knowledge of current affairs is heavily based from the news media, who distort it accidentally (or deliberately) on a regular basis so credibility is always questionable there. In short, I don’t set myself up for a battle but, occasionally one does present itself and, if my perception of logic does nothing to change anything, and if their argument makes no sense to me … then I just suggest that we agree to disagree on the topic. Being true to yourself should always be the #1 priority. 🙂

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  7. Of course, silence isn’t necessarily a response born of fear. Sometimes, choosing silence means that we’re merely picking our battles. Years and years ago, I met a blogger whose tagline was, “If I don’t have something to say, I won’t say it.” That’s good for life, as well as blogging.

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    • Absolutely! We don’t have to speak up if we don’t have anything of value to say. I was referring to when we did want to say something, but don’t, because we’re afraid of the response. It is never okay to attack others (and the ever-popular internet “shaming” is an attack), but we should be able to respectfully state our opinions. Sadly, that seems to be a notion that isn’t in vogue right now as we have so many people who have decided that they get to pick what is and isn’t allowed to be said. That just makes things even worse, I think.

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  10. Silence can often be the best response in situations where people hold strong opinions and speaking up won’t change anyone’s opinion (unless our silence is misinterpreted as agreement, in which case, I’ll usually just say “let’s agree to disagree”). Silence is never the best response to racist, sexist, or homophobic statements.

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    • Exactly! It’s hard to know when to be silent and when to speak up, as you say, because sometimes speaking up just leads to heated arguments, but silence is interpreted as agreement. So saying, “let’s just agree to disagree,” or “I see things a bit differently” is the best way. Statements that are blatantly harmful to others are the hardest to ignore, because those need to be challenged. And honestly, between my family and my friends, it’s sort of hard for me to hear a statement about any group of people and not feel insulted on behalf of someone I know and love. Yet I am amazed at how often people are comfortable making blanket statements condemning a whole group of people, never even thinking that it is wrong to say that…..

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  12. That last sentence is a clincher … we must be true to ourselves and all need to be more tolerant of those with different opinions!
    Open minds are crucial to harmony …

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    • I agree so much, Kate! And that’s what bothers me about our new mindset of “I’m right, and you’re wrong, and you need to shut up before I hurt you!” How will any of us ever learn if we aren’t even willing to listen to other points of view? Because I honestly believe that beneath it all….the color of our skin, our sexual identity, our nationality, how we vote, whatever…..we are all humans who deserve respect, dignity and love.

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      • as you would know I couldn’t agree more!

        But some have a very fixed mind set that they’ve never bothered to examine, they tend to be insecure and ignorant about ‘humanity’. I try to steer clear of those people, it’s their problem and nothing I say will ever change their mind …

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  13. Very well said. It was comforting to read this and know I’m not alone. In a few weeks our younger adult daughter will be staying with us for about a month or so. While hubby and I will discuss our opinions with each other openly of course about current events, politics, etc. … we will be silent on those topics in front of our daughter. She is of one political persuasion, we are of the opposite. I think we even have some slightly different feelings about the quarantine, though the differences there are much smaller. This is hard as I want to be able to say what I think, but in this particular case it’s not worth it. But this makes it hard sometimes to have topics to discuss!

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    • I know what you mean. There are times I choose to remain silent because I know my words would be hurtful, but that’s my choice (and it sounds like yours when your daughter is around). That’s okay. But it bothers me when we’re afraid to speak up because we’re afraid of the consequences…..that should never be the case, for anyone. I have dear friends with whom I can talk about absolutely anything at all, and we don’t always agree. But the key is, we never say “you’re wrong” to each other. We say “I disagree.” That makes all the difference, and is why we stay so close, even though in some ways we are very, very different.

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  14. I hope that you feel free with me to go with your second choice without fear of me attacking you for it, should we disagree. If I do appear to be doing so, I’m going to count on you to call me out for it. I can take it, because I know you’re my friend in the end.

    >

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  16. Bravo, Ann! I agree with 100%. If I did not, I would state kindly but firmly that I disagree with you and I would accept the consequences. In these tumultuous times, we must not yield to the pressures of a mob mentality. Thank you, Ann, to state your opinion in a way that is exemplary in a democracy alive as long as we have people who have the courage to state their opinion.

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    • Thank you so much, Peter! I am not surprised by your supportive response….You are an intelligent, level-headed person who is not afraid to think for himself, or to reach out to others to offer encouragement when needed. Thank you so much for that! Mob mentality is never a good thing, history shows us that, if nothing else.

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  18. Someone, Winston Churchill or Victor Hugo or whoever said this, and how I agree with that:

    “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

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  20. Yes, you said it. It’s a conscious choice now as to what to like, what to let go. I don’t worry about people not liking me, but I’m a kind person so I try to state my views subtly. In these inflamed times I find I am often overlooked, while still being true to myself. It’s a kind of win-win, from my perspective.

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    • I think one of the things I like best about your blog is that you do state your feelings so well, in a way that is honest but not a put down to those who differ. Even though that may mean you get overlooked at times (which as you say, can be a very good thing), I still think that is the way to go. And who knows? Sometimes you just might be leading by example.

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  21. The Hippies used to have a saying that went, “We are the people who our parents warned us about.”

    Now boomers say, “We have become the people who we warned ourselves about.”

    Which mean we grew up.

    At least some of us anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree about the “some of us!” And yes, isn’t it funny how when we were young we knew everything, and now that we’re not so young, we’re far more willing to admit that we don’t?

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  23. Oh I like this Ann! I admit as well it is much easier to keep silent instead of making waves. But I wonder what made me believe making waves, sharing my viewpoint, was a bad thing just because someone else may disagree? It’s going to take practice listening to and understanding each other for our country to move forward.

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    • I wonder that too, Lorie! I think it might be because so many people aren’t just sharing their views these days. They’re yelling their views at the top of their lungs, and challenging and attacking anyone who disagrees. And those of us who don’t want to be like that begin to think that the problem is sharing our views in the first place. But it really isn’t. The problem is using our views as a way to stifle others and control them, which isn’t what we want to do at all. So I think we do need to learn to speak up, with respect and civility towards others at all times. At least that’s the conclusion I’ve come to!

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  24. Unfortunately, intimidation is one form of silencing dissent which is increasingly obvious in social media. But I agree with you that it’s important live true to one’s beliefs and not be afraid to speak out. This is a thought-provoking post regarding the ugly situation we’re all dealing with right now. Well done, Ann.

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    • I agree, Des, and I think that intimidation is what bothers me the most. I believe very strongly in free speech, as I know perfectly well that when some voices are silenced, it’s just one small step to all voices being silenced. No one should be afraid to give an honest answer to a question, or to have an opinion on an important topic. As long as no one is trying to force their opinion on me, I’m happy to let everyone think for themselves. And if I’m never willing to listen to those who disagree, how in the world am I going to grow in understanding and tolerance?

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  25. I usually keep my opinions to myself (not to offend anyone with my choice of words) unless I am being asked directly or it’s a topic I can’t ignore. However, even in those times when I have been asked directly for my opinion I can totally surprise the other person with my response. Perhaps, this means that the other person expects to hear their opinion coming out from me. And the person is not “really looking for my opinion”. I do agree that no matter what the other opinion and even though it is different than ours, we should be tolerant of each other and try to avoid hurting each other. Great post, Ann!

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    • I’m not surprised by this Svet. I’ve read a comment from you on another blog when you disagreed with the writer, but you did it respectfully and you stated it simply as your own point of view. Honestly, I was impressed! That’s the way it should be. Yes, there are times when someone is saying something so hateful that it needs to be challenged, but even then, we can be civil as well as firm. That’s our only hope that we’ll actually be listened to, I think. Thank you for your comment!!!

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  26. Yay! I’m with you on this one, for sure. When people get angry about sharing an opinion, it’s often (not always) about them, and their own struggles. If we stifle ourselves when we need to exhale, we die a little more inside.
    Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me…

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    • That’s a good point, Liz! That’s probably the worst thing about trying to intimidate others into silence: it really does them harm. And the more emotionally damaged someone becomes, the more unstable they become at the same time. So all it really does is make a bad situation worse. But if someone is able to state their opinion, and you can actually have a civil discussion about it, then you can at least begin to understand each other. And understanding is often the first step toward maturity and growth.

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  27. Great post Ann! Even before the pandemic, I have found that people are much less willing to hear a difference of opinion; when it comes to politics, a heated argument often ensues between two minds that do not think alike. This has been a growing problem in recent years with politicians…there is so little respect. How can we expect young people to be respectful if the adults they see are not respectful? Without respect, you have nothing in society. I pray for our country to heal, but healing can only happen when people are genuine and really concerned about the issues at hand…not just having their own way when it comes to election day. I am glad you stay true to who you are, confident that by example, you can change the world, one person at a time.

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    • Thank you, Linda! And I agree that the intolerance was well on it’s way before the pandemic, that just magnified a problem we already have. Our national leaders no longer behave with respect and civility, which does give the impression that it’s okay for everyone else to act that way too. It’s hard for our children to have good role models, which I guess just makes it even more important that parents and family at least model good behavior and tolerance. It is sad, but not hopeless. Because like you said, sometimes the world gets changed one person at a time.

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  28. You said it so well. Being true to yourself is heavy in value. This tightrope we seem to be walking on is offensive all on its own. If those who deny their own hearts, which causes a bulldozing from those who wish to erase heart-felt beliefs & opinions, they will witness a destruction of free speech & expression. We Americans are here because those who came before us stood their ground to the thought brokers. I say, express at your own free will while you still possess it. God’s grip – Alan

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    • Thank you, Alan! That’s the conclusion I’ve come to as well. It’s easy to forget that, with all its faults, our country still has free speech. I think we sometimes take that for granted, forgetting all those who live in countries where they don’t enjoy that. And we forget that if one point of view can be silenced, so can all the others….

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  29. Wise choice and post! I struggle with that too – should I speak up or remain silent, should I comment on that Facebook post I think is untrue, unkind or outrageous? I do have a choice. You have made me think.

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    • It is hard, isn’t it? I see so many posts of Facebook which are offensive, but the problem is, if we comment on them then that just starts an argument on social media, in which no one wins. So I think I will continue to avoid those. I do find that the Word Press community is more accepting though, so I’m much more honest about what I write there. I think there’s the “choose your battle” angle to consider, which to my mind means not arguing on social media, especially since there are so many people who seem to thrive on that and are literally trying to pick a fight. But in real life conversations, I am learning to say what I really think more often. I think it’s good for me, even if it does mean that some people don’t think so much of me once they realize what I really think!

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  30. Amen to it all Ann. Sometimes silence is not the answer and we need to be able to voice our opinions. With respect, compassion and an understanding that yes, we might all have our differences, but in the end, surely a common link to humanity should prevail. At least I’d like to think so. Take care my friend. 🙏

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    • I think the worst thing is the way he lashes out at those who disagree with him, because that sets a bad example for us all. And all too often, others respond in kind and then things are just plain ugly, with no one trying to solve anything.

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  32. Ann, you hit the nail when you said we have to stay true to ourselves. In my experience, when dealing with some pretty intolerant people, being silent just sends them the signal that we are acquiescing to their viewpoint.

    At the same time, I need to ask myself if I can take the hurt when they lash out at me for expressing my views.

    So, I have 3 response options:
    a) I keep quiet and go ahead and do my own thing my own way. So, my targets do get my message – if a bit late. Some come barrelling towards me, spoiling for a fight – sometimes, there’s no escaping this. Others hesitate, suddenly unsure about how to deal with me.

    b) I become more selective in my interactions within a particular group. If there are people there who still need me, I learn to be there for them and them alone; all the other bullies-and-foaming-at-the-mouth types can go climb a tree.

    c) I shake the dust off my sandals. It is time to leave because some people just won’t listen. There’s no point staying on and getting hurt.

    d) Or I dig in my heels and stand my ground – but I don’t engage. Instead, I find some other way to get my message across.

    I think no matter how hurting or tough times are, if we believe we are put on this Earth for a purpose, then we must try to live out that purpose. We can’t let others defeat us.

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    • Those are excellent strategies! Sometimes we do need to adjust our behavior to the particular situation, especially with those we know are spoiling for a fight or won’t listen to a word we actually say. But you are right, we can’t let that attitude defeat us. When we have something important to say, we need to find the courage to get that message across, one way or another. And even if others don’t ever get what we’re talking about, that’s okay. At least we are living true to our values. Thanks for this comment!

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  35. Sadly I think some people can be very closed-minded and others are provocative, out to find an argument. One part of the beauty of life is surely the variety; we’re all different, with our own thoughts and opinions and things to offer the world. I think the internet in some ways makes it harder to be yourself when so many people can see the ‘like’ you’ve clicked on, so many can see old Twitter comments brought back from months prior, things said can be taken out of context and left forever on the internet somewhere. I want to say that everyone is entitled to their opinions and we should be free to express them, but in reality I’m not sure I even fully agree with that; as much as I want to, I can’t and won’t ever condone racism, but then if I say that I’m going against my own belief in the freedom of speech. Who knows.

    Basically Ann, it’s a tricky predicament as you’ll always find people willing to start an argument or criticise you. Sometimes silence is the easier option, but continuing to hold back may just lead to it all building up. It takes confidence in your beliefs and in yourself to express those beliefs when you know there’s possible backlash. My opinion? You’re a good person and I don’t like to think you’re having to be so cautious of doing or saying things because of others. Brushing it off isn’t easy, but you have a right to like the posts or make those comments; others don’t have a right to treat you poorly as a result.

    Not sure if any of that made sense. My brain is rather addled and bleary tonight!
    Caz xx

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    • It made perfect sense, Caz, and I thank you for that. And I agree that we all should have the right to express ourselves without fear of being attacked, and yet we all will be attacked for it at some point. The internet makes it easier, because we don’t have to look each other in the eye when we’re saying hateful things. I’m beginning to think that is why we see so much hate on it…it’s just easy to “flame” and then sign off. And you’ve got a good point about the racist comments, or any other comments that puts down a particular group of people. Those are hurtful words that can’t just be allowed to sit there. But on the other hand, if people don’t express them, we can’t know that’s what they’re thinking, and then we can’t try our best to change the way they think. Does that make sense? I’m kind of addled myself. But I think it is good if we try to challenge racist comments in a way that makes the person who is saying them really have to think about why they are racist…because that is the only way to ever change their hearts. We can silence people, but unless we change their hearts, we won’t ever change their behavior.

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  36. Well said. I have enjoyed Facebook because it has allowed me to connect and feel part of a fast-paced world, but of late, even my favourite pages seem to attract comments that are unnecessary, inflammatory and even abusive. And yes, I too hesitate to click on the “Like” button and at times keep my thoughts to myself while trying to understand the opinions expressed by others.
    I am usually outspoken and quick to “enter the fray”, but at the moment I am treading warily.

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    • I have the same relationship with Facebook: I love the way it has allowed me to connect with old friends and far away family, but I hate the way that so many people use it to attack others. And sometimes when I see a post and want to hit “like” I do hesitate, because it’s so very easy to misunderstand what someone really means on the internet. I don’t know about you, but I’ve written blog posts that meant one thing to me and another thing to some of the people who read them! So it is so hard to always know what is right. I guess all we can do is try our best to be true to ourselves!

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  37. Thank you for speaking out, Ann. I appreciate your candor and your courage in speaking your thoughts. I am often lost for words given the frustration & strength of emotion – so thank you for speaking out with a firm yet loving voice.

    Sending you hugs and positive thoughts in this difficult & strange time.

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    • It is so hard to speak out when we’re upset, and I have the same problem. It’s easier to be firm and loving when we’re writing, because we can think about and edit our words. The important thing is to want to be reasonable and not use our words to hurt others. My guess is that you manage that just fine! Thank you for your comment and encouragement…it is very much appreciated!

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  40. I’m not sure, I think I can run faster, not that I’m arguing. =) I appreciate your encouragement to speak honestly, though it’s a struggle for me when it comes to anything that might cause conflict. And especially during this time. I have friends and family with strong opinions on “all sides” of a variety of issues. With COVID, the situation in the US, and the difficulties in my beloved Hong Kong, I have found myself a bit overwhelmed with all the tension between people I care about. I “listen” (remotely) but don’t speak much. I have actually made the decision to disconnect from social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.). Agreeing to disagree seems to be my mantra these days. I share my deepest opinions with my immediate family, which I’m trying to do less and less for their emotional well-being. It’s important to know when to speak and to weigh our words. Making sure they are respectful and not used as weapons to release our own frustrations. Anyway, your post is inspiring and thought-provoking as always. Thanks, Ann!

    p.s. I don’t know why your posts don’t show up in my feed. I’ll just keep a watch out. Stay safe!

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    • I love how you put that: “making sure they are respectful and not used as weapons to release our own frustrations.” I think that brings up a good point: sometimes people who are “attacking” others aren’t really doing it out of aggression..they’re doing it as a way to release their own fear and frustrations which have become too much to bear. I think that’s why we all do need to have a safe place where we can state our thoughts and opinions, so we don’t get to the point where they boil over and we lash out. I’m so glad you have that freedom with your immediate family. And I think your choice to stay off social media for a while is a wise one. There is so much on there that can cause us anxiety, and we have more than enough of that in our lives right now!

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  41. Well said, Ann. For myself, I try to speak my mind but only to a limited number of people, so I guess that makes me a coward! 🙂 And I don’t use Facebook anymore for various reasons, but one of those is so that I don’t have to be subjected to all the hatred.

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  43. Oh, I’m SO glad and relieved that you opted for choice 2. Because I’m so much like you – I avoid an argument or confrontation and just smile and walk away if I see one coming. And I’m still that way. But. I don’t want to be fearful of spreading love and kindness and an opinion on inclusivity and LOVE instead of hate. So yes, let’s always be our genuine selves, Ann. Giving you a high five (and many “likes”).

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    • Thank you! And I know what you mean…it’s sad when we are afraid of trying to say something nice, or making a plea for understanding. So we can’t let that fear silence us. Everyone needs to be heard in this world, and all of us should be able to show our true selves, I think. Thank you for your affirming comment, and please keep letting your true personality shine through too!

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  44. Ann, I am so sorry that it’s taken me this long to reply to your moving and important words earlier this week! I was deeply moved by not only your clear and forthright expressions, but also by your determination to speak in spite of the price you might pay. To stay true to yourself. I wanted to shout, “Bravo!!” by the end! I am so grateful for your clear and honest voice always, and I think it was in the background as I wrote my blog this week, too. Thank you for your wisdom, your choice to live with courage, and your courage to put it out there because your voice is needed!

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    • Please don’t apologize! We all have lives outside of our blogging worlds, and sometimes we have more time to write and read blogs than others. I’m just always grateful for when you do have time, because I appreciate your comments love you posts. You have been one of the people who has helped me cope with the craziness of the past few months, and I can’t thank you enough for that!

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  45. A wise choice in the end, Ann. The nation is so divided that sometimes truth and logic no longer seem to apply. But I think we must be true to ourselves and our values. I pick and choose my discussions, and participate when I feel there’s an opportunity for both sides to not necessarily agree but at least empathize with the complex issues and choices that others face. (I gave up on Facebook ages ago). We each have to own our behaviors. ❤

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    • That’s exactly how I try to decide when and when not to speak up too! If there is a chance that I will actually be listened to, or at least tolerated, then it’s worth it. Because even if we “agree to disagree” (and I have done that often, even with close friends), I feel as if I get an opportunity to learn why someone else feels the way they do, and perhaps they learn why I feel the way I do as well. The press and our president just seem intent on fanning the flames and encouraging us to hate each other, which is so bad for our nation. But we get to choose our own behavior, as you said, and I choose to do better than that. I don’t want to live in a world of “them” and us!”

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    • Thanks, Michele! You’re so right, there is a huge difference between a discussion and an argument. And it’s up to each of us to keep the discussion going without spiraling down into endless arguments and fights!

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  47. I completely relate to everything you said, Ann. We are living in turbulent times where many facets are colliding at once, like a perfect storm. More recently I am being very selective about what I post or comment on. This is because there is SO much and I don’t want the things that matter most to be to get lost in a sea of posts and comments. I agree that some people simply will not look past their narrow lens. At times I am probably one of those people! I think many of us are really having to face our values in ways we never have before and it can be uncomfortable and even feel threatening to have these conversations with ourselves. Some people would rather not and so choose not to.

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    • Thanks, Kim! I think all of us are under so much stress right now that it’s even harder to listen to another person’s point of view. I know it can be for me sometimes. But I think it’s also more important than ever that we try to do it. The more we can recognize what we have in common, the more we are willing to address the issues that divide us, I think.

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  48. Very true! It’s sometimes hard to stand by your own opinions in the face of many who think otherwise. Tolerance and respect should be universal especially in times like these.

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  50. I agree we all have to be more thoughtful in how we approach things these days. There are a lot of people out there just waiting to pounce on any implied impunity. We should all be looking for dialogue rather than diatribe. We can all learn from each other, if we just take the time to observe and listen. Stay well.

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    • Thank you! I totally agree….we need to be in open dialogue with each other, rather than just on the watch for something that triggers us. If we an really listen to others, and speak our truth honestly and respectfully, then so many of our issues will be resolved. We can only hope! Thanks so much for your comment!

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