Coping with change has never been my strong point, which could explain why I’m feeling a bit disoriented these days. It seems that the very second I adjust to one new “normal,” everything shifts and then I have to adjust all over again. In my weaker moments, I think that all I want to do is go to sleep and not wake up until this whole mess is over. Thankfully, those moments are way outnumbered by the times I realize that even though my life is certainly different, it isn’t necessarily bad.
Becoming the primary care-giver for my grandson was a huge shift for me, and not just because he shows up at our door early in the morning, all smiles and boundless energy at a time when I’m just staggering around, still half asleep. Babysitting my grandson has reminded me of what it means to live in the moment, because that’s the only way that two-year olds know how to live. It’s given me the chance to enjoy the company of a toddler when I’ve lived long enough to know not to sweat the small stuff, and to realize what a gift it is to be able to spend so much time with a little person that I love so much.
If someone gave me the choice, I would never have chosen to add a new granddaughter to our family in the middle of a pandemic, (especially since she arrived six weeks early) but things worked out just fine. She’s proven to be a real fighter, spending only two weeks in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit before she was able to come home. We had to meet her for the first time outside, wearing masks and at a distance, but it was still a moment of pure joy. Trust me, few things can make your heart quite so happy as seeing your son cradling his new baby daughter. (She’s not quite as small as she looks in this picture– it’s an odd camera angle and my son has big hands.)
I started this blog over five years ago, and the most I hoped for was that I’d accumulate about one-hundred followers. Sometime in the craziness of the last few weeks, I’ve surpassed the 5,000 followers mark. I’ve been blogging long enough to know that blogging stats don’t mean much, but that still feels like a milestone, no matter how inaccurate it may be. Especially since as of June 1, Word Press is changing the system I use to write and edit my posts, which means I have no idea if I’ll be able to figure out how to continue this blog or not.
So if my next blog post doesn’t appear on schedule, or if the format looks decidedly odd, please know that I’m trying my best to learn a new system and to keep my blog going. I’m not what you would call “tech savvy” and it always takes me a while to learn new things. But I’m optimistic that I’ll figure it all out eventually, and believe that this will simply be yet another new thing to get used to. If the past couple of months have taught me nothing else, it’s that I’m far more adaptable and much stronger than I ever would have believed. And even more importantly, that change isn’t always such a bad thing.