A Change of Plan

/ Ann Coleman

I may be the sort of person who likes to plan for the future, but that doesn’t mean things always turn out quite the way I had planned.  My Spring calendar had been filled with activities that all ended up being cancelled, and I was also supposed to help host a small baby shower for my daughter-in-law who was due in late June with our first granddaughter. Unfortunately, we had to reschedule it twice due to the shelter-at-home restrictions being extended much longer than we had anticipated.

Finally, we decided that the wisest thing to do was simply schedule a “drive-by shower.”  We would decorate the front porch, have the mother-to-be sit there in a comfy chair, and people could drop off their gifts at the curb and then watch while she opened them.  We even ordered individually-wrapped, decorated cookies from a local bakery to give out as favors.  It seemed like an excellent plan for following the restrictions on gatherings and still managing to have a meaningful shower for the mom-to-be.

fullsizeoutput_59ebBut like so many things this Spring, the shower didn’t go exactly as planned.  We still had it, complete with balloons and cookies.  But my daughter-in-law couldn’t attend, because she was in the hospital with her newborn baby girl.  Our granddaughter surprised us all by making her entrance into this world six weeks early.

Both mother and daughter are doing well, and we couldn’t be more thrilled at this addition to our family.  I’m not going to lie, when I first heard that the baby was going to come so early, I was very worried and found it difficult to think of anything else.  I wanted my granddaughter to be okay, and I wanted my son and daughter-in-law to be spared from the anxiety that comes with an early birth.  I can’t tell you the relief we felt when we learned the baby had arrived safely and that our daughter-in-law was doing well.

Sometimes I think I’ll scream if I hear one more television commercial using the words “we are living in uncertain times”…..seriously, is there a single person on this earth who doesn’t know that?  But as tired as I am of hearing it, it’s the truth.  We are living in uncertain times, and like all challenging situations, it brings out both the best and the worst in people.

Last weekend, our family dealt with a very personal “uncertain time,” and I’m happy to say that we saw only the best of everyone.  I saw my son and daughter-in-law face a scary situation with courage and strength, and know that they received excellent medical care in a time when hospitals are truly hurting.  Friends and family continually reached out to us with reassuring messages and prayers.  The stories of so many other babies born prematurely who turned out just fine were particularly comforting, because it gave us so much hope.  So many people offered us “their best” and that helped us more than I can ever say.

So as these “uncertain times” that we live in stretch on, I hope I’ll remember what I’ve learned in these past few days.  Which is just how important it is to offer a sympathetic ear, or to offer a word of hope and encouragement as we all struggle to cope and find our way forward.  It may seem like a small thing to do, but trust me, sometimes it can make all the difference in the world.

114 thoughts on “A Change of Plan”

  2. I’m so glad that they are both doing well. How scary that must have been! And I’m sorry you all had to go through that, though I am not surprised that the Colemans plowed through with strength and courage. I do love the baby shower you had planned. So creative!

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    • I’d never heard of a drive-by shower before, but apparently it’s become rather common these days, as a way to do it safely in quarantine times. It was fun! Just wish the guest of honor could have been there….

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  3. Congratulations Ann, to you and your family. Another addition, as unexpected as it was. It’s so important to be surrounded by support, courage and love, even and especially in these uncertain times. Sending lots of love and good wishes. xx 💙🙏

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  4. Congratulations and I’m glad that mother and baby are doing well. I think we’ve always lived in uncertain times, you never really know what’s going to happen next. The only thing different now is we all have the one big uncertain thing to focus on – and yes, it is getting dull now. Stay safe.

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    • You’re right, Sharon, life is always uncertain. We just usually live under the illusion that it isn’t, and now this virus has exposed the fallacy of that type of thinking. It is getting old, but not much we can do about it. Thanks for your good thoughts!

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  6. Congrats on this precious new grandbaby! I’m thankful that both mommy and baby are doing fine. I agree with you, Ann, that a sympathetic ear and a kind word go farther than anything most days in helping us cope during these times. God bless you and your family!

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  7. Mazaltov, what lovely news!!! Congratulations on becoming a grandmother. How very exciting. Look forward to hearing more about this new little one and seeing photos. Welcome to the world! Glad to hear that both mom and baby are well. Out of interest, Ben was born very prematurely and only weighed two pounds at birth. In fact, his mother fainted when she first saw him! And look at him now!

    And love the idea of the drive by baby shower, even if it didn’t go quite as planned. What does these days huh?

    Peta

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    • That’s exactly the kind of story that gave us hope, Peta! So many people told us either they were preemies or they gave birth to one, and it turned out just fine. It helped so much…. I can’t imagine a two pound baby, his poor mother must have been shocked! But as you say, he certainly didn’t stay small. Take care and enjoy your new foster dog!

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  8. Congrats to all! And welcome to the newest Coleman girl! My 5.5 lb son was born 5 weeks early but all was nearly well. He lost 2 oz but gained them back (in the 5-day stay in 1970), so I was able to bring him home with me. At any rate, I’ll keep the girls in prayer a while. ❤ (We'll see a photo of her soon, right?) 🙂

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  10. I am donating newborn clothing to Birthright and to a Foster organization for babies not as fortunate. Hope others celebrate your granddaughter’s birth similarly.

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  12. I know exactly how you felt and are feeling now. Our last grandson was born six weeks early and spent one month in NICU. His older brother came four weeks early but only spent an extra day or two in the hospital. They both are very active healthy boys, you would never know they were born with so much uncertainty. Congratulations to you and your family Ann!

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    • I think how long they spend in NICU varies so much, Carolyn! My granddaughter is still in there, and probably will be for at least another week or two, but she’s doing well and her parents are given lots of time to hold her, which is good for all of them. She’s small, but mighty!

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  14. Congratulations Ann! Another grandchild!! I’m so happy that everything is fine and mom and baby are doing so well. Please give my best wishes to your son and DIL as they celebrate the magic of a new life!

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  15. First of all congratulations on the unexpectedly early arrival of your granddaughter! Even though the baby shower did not go as planned it was nevertheless a joyful event for you and the entire family. Secondly, I agree with your sentiments on constantly having to listen to the same old message that we are living in difficult times. Have a great day, Ann! Enjoy the new status of grandparenthood.

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    • Yes, it is joyful Peter, thank you! And really, you would think that the commercials would show a little variety now and then. We do know these are difficult times, we don’t need to be told that over and over every time we want to watch a little TV!

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  18. Many congratulations, Ann. So glad to hear the your granddaughter and her mom and dad are ok.

    (Possible typo midway thru where you refer to your son and daughter-in-law receiving excellent medical care – actually says medial)

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    • Thanks for the best wishes and for catching the typo, Mike! I’ll fix that right away…I’m surprised spell check didn’t catch it, but I guess medial must be an actual word? Who knew? Thanks again!

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  20. Just saw your post, wasn’t expecting one on a Monday! Love and Congratulations to the entire family, we are elated to hear the wonderful news and are so glad all are doing fine!!

    Topsy-turvy times for sure, but we’re sure baby-girl Coleman will power through any early stage hiccups with the love and support that envelope your family. A ton of Blessings from our family to yours!

    P.S. Cy came almost 4 weeks early, and look how that turned out!

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    • Thanks so much, Bomi! Louise reminded me of that too…and it really does help to see strong, intelligent and healthy young men like Cy and realize they started out as preemies too. And who knows? Maybe by the time you’re able to come visit again you can meet her in person!

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    • Thanks, Linda! I really think it does, and couldn’t help but draw analogies between how people are acting during the pandemic and how the behavior we saw during our granddaughter’s early birth. It helps SO much when offer people “bring their best” to each other…..no matter what we’re facing!

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  29. Oh, Ann, I’m so glad for your family. Now you have a little baby granddaughter! I’m sure it was worrisome while your daughter-in-law was in the hospital, but the uncertain times, scary as they can be, don’t always mean things are going to go wrong. Most of the time, it’s just been different. Congratulations to you all. 🧡

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  30. We’ve seen drive-by end of school parades here. And drive-by birthday parties, but no showers. I love the idea. I’m glad your loved ones are well and came through their ordeal ok. I’m with you about the word *uncertain* It is overused and makes me snarl at this point. Honestly, marketing people need to get a Thesaurus and use it.

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    • Ha! I really wish they would….or better yet, let us think about something else for a change. And I’d never heard of a drive-by shower either, but according to my daughter, it’s a thing now. It’s amazing how creative people have become in the face of these restrictions! I kind of hope we can remember some of these lessons when it’s all over.

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  33. Love the idea of a drive by shower, even if it didn’t work out as planned! Great to hear everyone is doing well. A baby girl! How exciting! Congratulations to all💞

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    • Yes, it wasn’t my idea, but I thought it was good one! I guess it’s a new thing now, since larger groups aren’t allowed, but people still want to honor brides and moms-to-be!

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  37. Congratulations to you and the whole family on the birth of your first granddaughter! It must have been very worrisome for you to have this happen in the middle of a pandemic. I am so happy to hear that you, the mother, and baby girl are all doing well.

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    • Thanks, Joe! I felt so badly for my son and daughter-in-law, just because they were having their first baby in the middle of a pandemic (and under-staffed hospitals due to all the layoffs) and six weeks early! That’s a lot to deal with. But I have to say that they handled it well, and their hospital experience has been very good. So glad!!!

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  43. You certainly did experience a change in plans! I’m glad everyone is doing well, and it’s especially nice that such a creative baby shower still took place. Every now and then I discover someone I know arrived early and took a little extra time to ‘catch up,’ but I’ve always heard the stories from strong, healthy people. I’m sure the new babe will develop in the same way, and be home before you know it. Congratulations!

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    • Thank you! And once we discovered that our granddaughter would be born early, we hear so many of those stories. It really helped, because we realized that preemies weren’t at all uncommon and that things usually turned out just fine. I think it worried me more than normal because my mom lost two babies who came too early, but that was back in the 1950s when they couldn’t do much. So far, she is doing great and we are so pleased!

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  44. Congratulations on the new addition. Who knows, maybe they just blew the estimate and baby was only two weeks early, didn’t need that extra time to put on makeup. 😉 Good that everyone is safe and well.

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  46. Ann- Congratulations on a new family addition!! Awesome. BTW this early babies will grow up to be just fine. I had one 7 weeks early and worried about him constantly the first few weeks and then months and then years, yup, still worry about him! But, they all seem to have a different outlook on life those early ones I have found. Maybe, they will have better insight into making the world a better more diverse accepting place to live. 😊

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    • That’s a great thing to hope for a baby! Thank you, I hope that does become true. And it does help to hear that your son also came early…stories like that make me realize that so many grown-up, healthy people started life as a preemie!

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  48. Uncertainty, lockdown, Covid-19, pandemic… Such clichéd terms! After a point you just want to run away from the negativity and hide someplace… And in such times even the slightest of positive events make it so much better. Congratulations for becoming a grandmother 🙂 I’m sure the journey following up will be filled with fun and laughter for you and your family.

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    • You’re right, when we hear the same things over and over, they begin to lose any real meaning. I think that’s why so many people have turned inward at this time. But as you say, every positive remark and every kind gesture is so very much appreciated. Thank you for your kind words!!!

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  50. Dear Ann,
    Wishing you and your family warmest CONGRATULATIONS! on the safe arrival of your grandaughter. Six weeks early must have felt like quite a surprise indeed. I’m very glad to hear all went well and mother and baby are okay.
    With very best wishes
    Rachel

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