Last weekend was a busy one. We had a death in the extended family, which meant taking a quick out-of-state trip on Friday to attend the visitation. On Saturday, we drove back home so we could help our daughter prepare for the family lunch that would follow the baptism of our grandson on Sunday morning. One of the disadvantages of growing older is that I don’t bounce back from those kinds of weekends as quickly as I used to, so I am only just now actually processing those recent events.
In many ways, the death of a loved one and the baptism of a baby are completely opposite events. One life is ending and another one is just beginning, and the emotions we feel are so very different. It doesn’t matter if the death came at the end of a long and well-lived life, or if it was sudden and completely unexpected, we still grieve and wonder if we are ever going to feel quite whole again without that particular person in our life. And you don’t have to be religious to feel the wonder and joy of an infant baptism, since it represents the beginning of a new life full of promise and hope. Any way you look at it, funerals and baptisms are very, very, different.
But as I look back over the weekend, I realize that those two seemingly polar opposite events have one very important thing in common. At both times, family and close friends gathered together to offer community and support. In the one case, they came to offer comfort and share memories of the loved one who is no longer physically with us. In the other, they came to show their support of, and love for, a rather new little person who is just beginning his life journey. But in both cases, the important thing is simply that they came.
Sometimes, life gets in the way and we can’t actually be present when someone needs our support. Last week, the mother of a dear friend of mine also passed away. Unfortunately, her funeral was held on the same day as our family’s visitation, five hundred miles away. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t physically be there for my friend. But I could still reach out to her, thanks to modern technology, and make sure she knew she had my love and support.
Life will always be full of ups and downs, of occasions that seem unbearably sad and of other occasions that fill us with joy. And the people who gather with us at those times to share our grief or our happiness are a powerful reminder that we aren’t in this alone. They are the community that supports us through the life’s biggest changes.
So my take away from this busy last week and weekend is simple: be there for those who need us. Physically when we possibly can; or by calling, sending flowers, a card, or even a quick text when we can’t. The details don’t really matter. What’s important is just that we be there for each other, each and every time we are needed.