A few years ago, I passed a young woman and her dog on the sidewalk and the dog jumped up on me to say hello. The young woman apologized, saying she had just begun to foster the dog for a rescue group and hadn’t had a chance to teach it any manners yet. I told her it was fine, that I was a “dog person” myself and didn’t mind an enthusiastic greeting from a friendly dog. She laughed and answered, “All my friends are dog people. I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who wasn’t.” I smiled politely and went on my way, but her words stuck with me.
I love dogs and spend a lot of time in their company, one way or another. I share my home with a dog and I walk shelter dogs in my spare time. Many of my good friends are dog lovers, and several of them also volunteer at the local animal shelter. But I have other friends who aren’t especially fond of dogs. I may believe that a house isn’t truly a home until there’s a dog (or two) wandering around, but I have good friends who wouldn’t dream of sharing their home with a dog. And you know what? I am just as close to them as I am to my dog friends.
I believe it has become far too easy these days to associate only with people who we believe are, if not exactly like us, then at least close enough to be comfortable. We can watch news channels that will always reflect our political views, interact on social media only with those who share our opinions, and live in neighborhoods where most people not only look like us, but are probably also in the same income-bracket. I can’t speak for other religions, but some Christian churches have even begun to align themselves with either conservative or liberal stances based on the sincere belief that not only was Jesus political, but that his politics were exactly the same as theirs. The division of “us” and “them” seems to be growing wider by the day.
Personally, I don’t think all this “sticking with our own kind” is a good thing at all. When we surround ourselves with people who think, look or act mostly the way we do, we are rarely challenged with the idea that perhaps our way isn’t always the right way. When we know that the responses to our opinions will usually be agreement, it’s all too easy to believe that our opinions are actually facts. And if we do this long enough, then it’s easy to forget altogether that there are good people out there who just happen to look at things a tad differently than we do.
It’s easy to live in our own little bubbles, secure in the knowledge that we are right and morally superior to those whose views don’t match ours, and there are times when I’m really tempted to do that. But ultimately, it’s not the way I want to live.
I want to live in the real world, which is populated by people who see things in their own unique way. I want to be in relationship with people who don’t always share my political and religious views because they challenge me to examine just exactly why I believe what I do. I want to have friends who don’t share all my interests, but are willing to tell me about theirs. Mostly, I want to continue to learn and grow as a person. And I don’t think that can happen when I can’t find the courage to burst out of my own little bubble.
Thanks for writing this! I have to agree that a diverse pool of friends or people you know opens doors and windows into new ideas. Eating new foods, seeing a different view point, seeing empathy where maybe we didn’t understand the full story before. These are the things that will bring a new a better world. Change never happens with more of the same.
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Exactly! Good changes only occur when we broaden our horizons, at least a little bit. Thanks for the comment!
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Ann, I wish you’d submit this to several of the news outlets in St. Louis. So well said.
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Breaking out of one’s comfort zone is always a problem, unless you have done it a few times. Sadly, you have a leader who is inadvertently** encouraging the “us and them” philosophy. He is surrounding himself with agreeable people.
** I really don’t think that he knows enough to calculate such actions.
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It is very hard to break out of our comfort zones, and you’re right that today’s political climate doesn’t exactly encourage it. But I still believe it is very important to do so! Thanks for the comment, Colin!
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This was great! Such a simple and good analogy for all the political and social divisiveness we are seeing these days. Taken to an extreme (which seems to be the way the world is leaning), pretty soon people will be saying “I only want to be friends with people who have Siberian huskies” or “I’m only interested in other corgi owners.” What fun is it to interact only with people who think and see the world exactly as we do? How will we ever grow and learn? Thanks, Ann.
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I completely agree! Our “bubbles” will keep getting smaller and smaller until we are basically only enjoying our own company if we don’t learn to get along with people who are different. And that will be the end of our personal growth.
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Very well put, Ann, and so very apt in these fragmented times. Some might consider me “not a dog person”, as I have cats rather than dogs at my house. I both have a greater affinity for cats, and my living circumstances have been such that I’ve never felt that I would be able to provide the care, attention and exercise that a dog would need.
Challenging ourselves to grow outside our own tiny bubbles is very important, both for the growth of ourselves as individuals and if we are to heal this divided world in which we currently live. Bridging can be uncomfortable and it is so necessary. Thanks for writing!
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Exactly: you like cats while I prefer dogs, and yet we can still manage to get along just fine and find all kinds of common ground when we get to know each other. I hate the idea that we can only relate to those who think exactly like us. Thanks for the comment!
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I admit I’m a cat person too. But I have lots of friends with dogs, and even more without any pets. Empathy and respect is what we need more of
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I couldn’t agree more!
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Thank you Ann for bursting some bubbles here today! I couldn’t agree more 💛
Experiencing and accepting a different perspective, and seeing beyond what we are attached to, opens up a world of understanding rather than conflict. Well written post! xo
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Thanks Val! And it is certainly understanding that we’re trying to achieve, rather than more unnecessary conflict. Thanks for your kind word and for understanding what I meant!
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A truly wonderful article, Ann. Every word resonates deeply within me. It is disturbing to see that people want or maybe even feel the need to divide other people in categories and groups and then only interact with the ones with similar interests. Diversity is a key element in nature and ecology, we should learn to embrace it more, to acknowledge its importance. It’s difficult for sure, but oh so necessary.
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It is SO necessary… We live in a diverse world, and we need to learn how to relate to people who think differently from us if we are ever going to achieve any type of peace. It is just silly to think we can restrict ourselves to people who will never challenge our world view. And we’re missing out of so much when we do that as well!
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I couldn’t agree more! 😄
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Ann, needed to read your words today. It is so easy for me to fall into that trap. Don’t want to go there, don’t like it there, and it doesn’t make me feel better. Human condition, I guess. Thanks.
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I think it is the human condition, Larry, and I think that is why we all struggle with this issue. Honestly, I wrote this as much to remind myself as anyone else, because it is something that I need to remember to. As you say, I don’t like it in my own little bubble….
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I really enjoyed reading this! I, too, would much rather be around people who share different perspectives on life. The people who see the world differently are who I’m drawn to and I am beyond blessed to know such people. I live for the quote “get uncomfortable” because while I have my own views, being around different views are what definitely challenge me and open me up to newer things. I totally agree with all that you are saying! Great job😊
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That’s how I feel, too! Of course it is more comfortable to be around people who agree with us, but we are so very blessed when we get to know those who don’t. It opens up new frontiers, challenges us to be more intentional about what we believe and why, and helps us to be compassionate and understanding towards people we would otherwise dismiss as simply “wrong.” Ultimately we are the ones who benefit when we are willing to burst our bubbles.
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It is so easy to isolate ourselves into tribes these days. I admit that I’ve done this to some extent too because I don’t enjoy conflict (whatever happened to unemotional, fact-based exchange of ideas or even honest debate?) and I much prefer conversations with critical thinkers. Dog-lovers vs. non-dog-lovers? I hate to think that’s a thing, but I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.
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Oh, yeah, it’s a thing! Sad to say. But I know what you mean: I want to engage in meaningful discussion with people who are different from me, but I also hate conflict so sometimes I remain silent when I should speak up. But I comfort myself with the thought that at least I am willing to listen! I guess that’s a first step….
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Nice post. I totally agree with you. Life gets a little boring when you don’t meet new people. It’s cool to share common interests but sometimes something different is exciting.
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It is! We need to mix it up now and then if we want to keep growing as a person.
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Such good thoughts Ann! At first I thought you were going to be talking about dogs (as Charlie just told me he replied to your comment on “his” post! 🙂 ) – and then I realized where you were going and what good points you were making. I totally agree and thoroughly enjoy spending time and having good conversations with people who have different religious and political views and different cultural experiences. I rarely share my political or religious views on line as I still work and work with people with different views and opinions to mine and not sure how they would feel about me declaring them online. What I do want to express, however, is kindness and RESPECT for all different religions and political views and cultures. It is so interesting to have a respectful conversation with people of different opinions. It is not so fun to have conversations with those who are close minded and can’t have respect for different opinions and ideas than theirs. We need to respect and embrace our differences and create a big bubble of respectful diversity.
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Well said Jodi. We cannot expect everybody to agree with us, but we can still respect their views.
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Oh, me too Jodi! I rarely state my views on line because I know that is just an invitation for attacks, and I don’t want my blog to be a place where anyone, no matter what their views, feels attacked. You are so right in that the key is respect. Sometimes I can speak most freely to those I know disagree with me simply because I also know they respect my right to disagree. And that’s really all it comes down to: acknowledging that none of us has the corner on the market of being being right and being morally superior. Respecting each other’s views is all it takes to have a civilized discussion that is enlightening to all involved.
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I love this post, Ann. You are so right on. The trick is a willingness to be open to others’ views without getting upset; to acknowledge that others have just as much right to self-expression as I. I do just what you do: I often avoid expressing my (political, for one) opinion on my blog for fear of the backlash. I don’t want to invite negativity and want to remain positive. When I traveled to Brasil (they spell it this way) many years ago, I was exposed to another culture which was a gift. I returned 30 years later and again feasted on our differences. Bravo to those who remain open, willing to learn. Thanks for a great reminder. While I love dogs, I’ll sign off as…a feline fan…
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Cats are good too, I just happen to find dogs easier to live with! And yet look how easily we agree on other things… But seriously, that’s the point, isn’t it? To, as you say, acknowledge that other people have the right to their opinions and the right to express them. It can be hard to hear when we feel what they are saying is wrong, but then I just think, well how would I feel if someone told me that my deepest beliefs were wrong? And that makes it easier for me to respond with tact and respect. Thanks for the comment!
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Yes, totally agree Jodi, well said
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Wise words – thank you for posting
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Thank you!
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I’m with you!
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Thank you so much!
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Great post, Ann. I’ve been thinking about this too. In Australia, there is a big debate going on about whether to allow same-sex marriage and this has caused a lot of divisiveness in the community. People do seem to have lost the ability to respectfully agree to disagree. Those over 50 seem to be the worst offenders. The word curmudgeon comes to mind. 🙂 I have been encouraged that younger people seem to be much better at listening to one another. But of course, we are all agreeing with you here.
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LOL! I know, it is true that we all seem to be like-minded here in our belief that those with other views should be respected and allowed to speak their minds. But what comforts me is that I have followed enough blogs to know that the people commenting on this post actually do have very different world views, and that the one thing they agree on is the respect they have for others. It’s a start!
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It is hard to respectfully disagree when it feels like your universal human rights are being denied by the No voters though… I’m in Australia too, and agree that we have divisiveness, but not as much as America vs Korea/Puerto Rico/Russia etc
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Too true. I haven’t spoken to my father since he said that it would all lead to Christmas carols being banned. There are always going to be idiots.
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Yes, when people just speak from emotion and not from common sense, then that is very hard to respond to, and sometimes the best thing is to not respond at all. When you realize that there is no chance for civilized dialogue, then sometimes the only thing to do is to walk away, sadly.
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I think in those cases we just have to remember that being disrespectful to someone never changes their mind. If anything, it makes them dig in their heels even more, because it reinforces their belief that those who disagree with them are jerks. Sometimes, it can feel too personal and I don’t trust myself to be respectful or appropriate, and that’s when I try to give myself a “cooling off” period before I engage with another person. It helps…but that’s just what works for me.
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Great advice
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Well said! This is a great message that needs to be shared with a wider audience. Great job!
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Another great post Ann. So thought provoking. Just as a safety measure we tend to reach out to people who share our views, be it political or religious. I say safety measure because we feel that belongingness there. But then the problem that i see is in looking down/differently at those who dob’t share our ideologies. This resulting in not befriending, or not following or in extreme cases hating those with different ideologies. Bursting that bubble and looking out is so important. Thank you for writing it so well.
But then, how do we do it? I get very restless when I read something negative about a topic that I feel so passionately about.
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It’s hard, and honestly I think that social media makes it worse because we can read comments and opinions that make us angry and it’s so easy to lash out since we aren’t looking at an actual person, just the words. That’s why I make it a policy not to debate anything on social media….it’s too easy to get angry and write something that is hurtful to others.
Personally, I think the best way is to actually be open to meeting and talking to all kinds of people, because it is so much easier to discuss differences, and remember that others are allowed to disagree with even the issues we feel strongly about, when we are face to face. And words like “I disagree” are so much better than “you’re wrong.” One invites conversation, the other just builds a wall. Sometimes we will change minds and hearts, other times we will have our minds and hearts changed, and still others we will simply “agree to disagree.” Thanks for the comment!
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Yes. Looking at just words and abusing is much more easier than looking at a person and doing it . That is a very good point Ann. Thank you explaining it in detail. Really appreciate it.
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Thanks, and thanks for contributing to the ongoing conversation! What I like best about blogging is that the comment section always adds so much to whatever I posted about, because people bring in ideas and perspectives I hadn’t even thought about. It’s great!
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Yes, It is amazing to see how people take it to a completely different level with their comments. Keep writing Ann.
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I totally agree, Why can’t chalk and cheese find a point of conversation and amicability!
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You would think they could, wouldn’t you? As much as we hate to admit it, we aren’t all alike in our thoughts and beliefs and there’s really nothing wrong with that!
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I have worked with people of all faiths and nationalities, we got along fine. it is politicians and religion that cause wars not people!
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Great post. People are walking encyclopedias. Super interesting, but some times I prefer the company of my own pooches 🙂 They love unconditionally and most importantly don’t talk back :))))))))))))))))))))))))
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That is probably one of the biggest advantages of dogs over people!
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I like your beautiful photo that captures the dogs 🙂 I also agree that you need to be open minded and accept people that think differently or have other opinions. Otherwise you do not see the other side and might be missing out.
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I agree! When we limit ourselves to only hearing or reading one point of view, we are missing out on a chance to see the bigger picture. And thanks for the comment on the photo. Those are actually my son’s dogs and they often snuggle like that. They are very close!
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So very true, Ann. I love dogs but I have a house full of cats! When the kids were young we always had dogs. Now we travel a lot and dogs are a lot more difficult when leaving behind. But…. your point that we’re all different and still bring something unique to the table is well worth mentioning.
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Yeah cats are much more self-sufficient and can be left behind with far less fuss! We are thinking we might want our next dog to be small enough to travel with us whenever possible, but I don’t know if that will work out or not. There are some places you just can’t take a pet, no matter what the size.
And I like the way you put that, “bring something unique to the table!” That is exactly what I was trying to say…
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I enjoyed your post, Ann. It reminds me of growing up listening to my parents having lively but respectful political discussions with their family and friends. How those days have changed! I really value people I know who are respectful towards other people’s political, religious or even musical leanings that are different from their own.
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It really does seem that we used to be able to discuss these things without being so nasty to each other, doesn’t it? Maybe it was because people who had different religions tended to stick with each other, but I don’t think that’s ever been the case politically. I have conservatives and liberals in my own family, and always have. I think social media has made it easier to unleash our inner aggression and forget our manners, unfortunately.
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I agree with you. As well as that, if we only mixed with people who shared our own views, what sort of fun would it to get to know someone? It’s finding out what we have in common and what we don’t have in common, as well as finding what we can discuss and agree or disagree on, that’s important.
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You’re right, if we knew in advance that someone we just met agreed with us on everything, there would be no “getting to know you” stage at all! And as you say, that’s part of the fun!
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Great post, Ann and you are absolutely correct. All really great relationships are made more interesting because of the exchange of different ideas and viewpoints. The old phrase of, opposites attract, has validity. Of course there’s much more that flies into these relationships than simply not agreeing on certain points. Doing so respectfully is critical.
I remember early in my career not agreeing with my supervisor and him telling me that he would prefer to hear an alternative position because if we always agreed on everything, one of us wasn’t necessary.
Having much in common certainly helps friendships, etc…but having meaningful discussions that opens up your mind, is priceless.
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You are so right, George! And what a great boss who truly wanted to hear your views, rather than just have his own echoed back to him. My husband is lucky enough to have a boss like that now, too. It makes his job so much easier.
I think what I hate most about this new trend of just distancing ourselves from those who disagree with us is how it does shut us off from even the potential of understanding the “other side” of any issue. It would also limit our friends… One of my very best friends is a woman with whom I have a lot in common, but who also thinks very differently from me on certain issues. But we can discuss anything, because we know that we value each other so much, and we are always careful to say, “I disagree” rather than “you’re wrong.” It’s amazing how much difference those little words can make! Plus, neither of us is silly enough to assume we are always right…..
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You’re right, Ann. The words we use during our discussions can make all the difference…the difference between a dear friend and a lost friendship.
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Exactly! She and I don’t always see eye to eye, and we don’t always agree, but she truly is one of the best friends I’ve ever had, or ever will have. And our relationship helps me to remember to be tolerant of those those who think differently than I do!
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This is probably one of the best parts of living in S. FL is the cultural differences. No bubble here… It is interesting to be back in the thick of differences after growing up in NYC and then living the bulk of my life in white bread USA. Unfortunately, there won’t be enough else to hold me here I’m afraid, but I totally agree with you: Viva La Difference!
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Yes, the differences do make life so much more interesting, don’t they? Hope all is well with you!
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Thumbs up, Ann. Jesus challenged us to love others that are different than our bubbles. In fact, He said what worth is it if we only love those who love us. This week I will step out on a limb on my blog concerning an elderly uncle I dearly love, but have been incredibly upset with his public racial leanings. I may lose some family around his branch, but someone has to speak the truth of how God sees us and our neighbors. Good stuff here.
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Thank you! I agree that Christians are called to love others, even those that are different and even those who disagree with us. I hope it goes well with your uncle…..
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Ann, this is so well-said and very true. I think that’s why there is so much dislike in our current world. To that point, I’m not really a dog lover (kind of scared of them, actually) but I have many close friends who love dogs. It would be great to mix things up a bit – we would all benefit.
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Thanks so much! I think it is so easy to assume that our friends just agree with us on everything that we sometimes don’t give them a chance to tell us differently. (Personally, whenever someone first comes to my home, I ask them if they are comfortable with dogs. If they are not, then I put the dog(s) in the yard or another room.) And when we can venture out of our comfort zone and actually strike up a relationship with someone very different from us, we are always enriched in one way or another!
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When my parents moved from County Kildare (Southern Ireland)
in 1960, to Hammersmith West London I was only 6 months old.
The whole area was populated mainly by Irish and first generation
Jamaicans. Two totally different cultures. But what an upbringing.
The Irish and the Jamaicans got on so well.
I grew up surrounded by wonderful and happy people.
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What a wonderful way to grow up! You know, as much as I bitched about the years my dad spent in Seminary and we lived in a TINY little campus apartment, I really think that experience helped me more than I’ll ever know. I had friends there from all over the world, and they brought their cultures with them. It opened my mind so much more than it would have been if we’d stayed in our large house in our neighborhood where everyone else was basically just like us. Thanks for sharing that!
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well said.
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Thanks, Michele!
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Dogs are better you know. Just kidding. Seriously though my husband had a cat when I met him, and she always hated me, so that experience never helped. I’m sure there are some nice cats somewhere in the world, but this cat wanted to keep her place as my husband’s number one girl.
There is a lot of divisiveness in this world, and people who think their point of view is the only correct one. I grew up with parents like that, it was tiring, so I try to avoid those sorts of people in real life.
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My father was kind of like that, too. People thought he was open-minded, because he was progressive, but believe me, his opinions were the only “right” ones and that was hard at times. I also try to avoid people who believe too much in their own way!
As for cats and dogs, I’m in your camp…I like dogs better! Still, some of my good friends prefer cats, or even an animal-free house, and they are good people too!
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I love this post. Great thinking. Good insight.
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Well said. It is definitely more interesting in my opinion, to live in a place that is multi ethnic and multicultural. Althpugh, people in communities usually seem to stick with people of the same heritage race or religion. Its why we find many cities have a Chinatown, Little Italy or India for example.
But when it comes to animals… I draw the line. Haha. (My sister once said she doesn’t trust anyone that does not like animals and that this has guided her all her life.) While I might not go that far, I certainly wouldn’t trust anyone that is cruel to animals!
Very thoughtful and thought provoking well written piece.
Peta
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Thanks, Peta! And I agree, I can certainly be friends with someone who doesn’t particularly like animals, but never with someone who abuses or neglects them. That’s a whole different category!
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Well said. That’s the thing that bothers me most about tribalism, not so much that folks organize into tribes, but that they’re often so closed to other ideas once they do. Is it too much to accept there’s more than one way to approach a problem, and if you consider multiple approaches you might end up with a better answer?
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That’s a good way to put it…we do tend to form “tribes” of people we identify with, but that’s no reason to close the door to anyone who is not in our tribe. Yet it seems that’s what we do, more and more often, and as you say, then we lose perspectives that could actually be quite valuable. Thanks for the comment!
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Thank you for this excellent and perceptive article, Ann. I suppose it’s not always so easy to meet and integrate with others of different social and cultural backgrounds, in person, face-to-face, so to speak, particularly later in life when our circumstances tend to becoming more fixed. This is perhaps where reading, and in particular good literature, can serve the purpose. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’m only just exploring the work of Virginia Woolf, and what a revelation it has been! She’s really opened my eyes to the English Class System as it existed a century ago, but in particular to how women were viewed in society at that time. When we hear of the appalling abuse going on in the entertainment industry (and in so many institutions besides — the police, the church, the media, politics, et al) it’s easy to think we’ve progressed very little over the century, but we have, we really have. Still, the real gift of Woolf’s work is how our private thinking (the study of perception and interiority being recurrent themes of her work, as you likely know) is portrayed as the ‘tiny bubble’ that makes up our entire world and world-view. She at once shows (in her Stream of Consciousness style) how social interactions with others are dual-levelled: the overt dialogue, the conscious displays, and then running simultaneously the interior, ingrained belief systems of our own habituation and conditioning. I wonder if literature is perhaps far better than online dialogue for gleaning understandings into the ways and beliefs of others? With the internet, it seems all too easy to fall into either groupthink or conflict, and there seems so little time or space for really imbibing the other’s situation. The ideal is surely to have an active and engaged socially diverse life, along with a good deal of exploratory reading. One might add that understanding the nature of one’s own mind (as Woolf clearly did), by whatever means, is a necessary component. This, by extension, gives one an insight into the workings of others’ minds, given our physiology and nervous systems are of the same type. We then see how biases and closed-thinking come to exist, both in ourselves and in others. Thanks again for the article, Ann!
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If it makes you feel better, I haven’t yet read Virginia Woolf either! I keep meaning to, and never get around to it. Now that I have read your comment, I’m not going to procrastinate any longer…
And I think you made a very interesting point about reading being one of the best ways to escape our little bubbles. What I have always loved about reading (besides losing myself in a good story and alternate world) is seeing the world through someone else’s point of view. And as you point out, it’s much easier to read a book written by someone halfway around the world than it is to go and talk to them in person! I remember when I first discovered James Baldwin’s work, and a whole new world was suddenly revealed in a way that I understood it…. I also agree that online debates, or even dialogues aren’t nearly the same thing. Maybe it’s the lack of time to ponder to the other person’s words, or how quickly they write them so that their intention isn’t always clear, I’m not sure. But it isn’t the same.
Thanks, Hariod, as always for you comments. You always bring something interesting and enlightening to the discussion!
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Try Mrs Dalloway if you want a reasonably accessible way into VW’s S.o.C. style, Ann. It runs to less than 200 pages, though has no chapter breaks. To The Lighthouse is perhaps even more brilliant, but my goodness you have to be on your toes with it. She was such an incredibly perceptive writer, though, and the prose is breathtakingly beautiful, if that’s your cup of tea. She’s really been a revelation to me. What an incredible woman she was.
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Thanks for the recommendations! I will start with those. And I don’t mind a writer that forces me to pay close attention.
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Great piece and I love dogs. I’m pretty diverse myself. I’m just a pet-friendly person in general which allows me to be diverse within itself. I’ve had friends and family members who’ve had dogs & cats as pets, some even both at the same time.
I definitely agree with your viewpoint on diversity and how surrounding ourselves with individuals that will most likely agree with our own opinions just limits ourselves as individuals. And like you said, with today’s technology and the voice all the social media platforms gives us, its extremely easy to focus on things, people and topics that will always fall in our favor. Some people have open minds and some don’t. And in most cases, it can be hard for some to be told things they don’t necessarily want to hear.
This was a great read and I have been enjoying your blog ever since I recently subscribed. Thank you for writing this piece!
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Thank you so much! And I hope that I can become braver about venturing out of my comfort zone, as I am always so glad when I do. Sticking to people I agree with may be more comfortable, but it is far too limiting. Thanks again!
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Great viewpoint. I completely agree. I enjoy your writing perspective.
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Thank you!
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I like dogs and cats, they seem to like me too. But my wife is allergic to them. I have learned to live with that. I do have some serious concerns, when the love for pets goes beyond the care we should show for our fellow human beings. So that is my viewpoint. Obviously, your amazing post ‘Tiny Bubbles’ deal with a more important issue. To enrich our lives we need to be able to associate with people having different perspectives. Your article is so well written, dear Ann, that I seek your permission to reblog it.
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Of course you can reblog it! And thanks for wanting to. I also agree that it’s very unsettling to hear someone say they love animals and hate people. I don’t see why you can’t love both, and I also think it’s important to remember to treat animals as animals, because that is what they are. We love them and are enriched by their presence in our lives, but that doesn’t mean they are human. And they’re fine just as they are!
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I agree with you 100%, dear Ann. I know someone who organizes a birthday party for her dog complete with birthday hat and jacket for her beloved pet. That in my opinion goes too far.
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Completely agree with you. confining ourselves within our own little bubble doesn’t do any good in terms of presenting new opportunities or challenging oneself. Branching out is how we as individuals learn.
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Exactly! Thanks for the comment!
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I like what you say about others challenging us. Someone I appreciate once said: real contact happens at the dividing line (or something like that), basically saying that when you surround yourself with people who think and feel exactly like you there is a danger of no real deep contact, as it’s just comfy and reaffirming what you already know and feel. It’s circular. Whereas when people rub you the wrong way, this is where true interaction and movement can happen, as long as you’re open to it and willing to move.
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That’s a very good way of putting it! It is circular when we surround ourselves with people who we can count on to affirm our own points of view, and it certainly shuts the door on any kind of diversity whatsoever. And while I sometimes do find myself annoyed by people who insist on holding the opposite point of view, they are also the ones who challenge me to broaden my horizons a bit and that’s always a good thing. Thanks for sharing that!
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I guess those annoying people only want to pull you into their circle – so that they can feel better and comfy, too. 🙂
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I like and enjoy meeting people of all different backgrounds….it’s truly the only way to learn and grow and educate oneself. But, there is something comfortable about being with people who are similar….but at the end of the day, I need to have chemistry with people I’m friends with…..and chemistry doesn’t usually involve liking all the same things….it means understanding one another on a deeper level!
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That’s true. Some of my closest friends don’t share many of my views, but the chemistry is certainly there. We understand each other on a very deep level, and like each other for exactly who we are. In my opinion, real friendships aren’t founded on similarities, they are founded on real affection for each other’s true selves. Which is something that is missed when we seek to surround ourselves only with people who think like us, and that is especially encouraged on social media, where the relationships stay firmly at the surface. Thanks for making that point!
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You summed it up perfectly!! Great post
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Reblogged this on The Peter and Gertrud Klopp Family Project and commented:
The post ‘Tiny Bubbles’ is about broadening our mental horizon by stepping out of our comfort zone of like-minded people and by actively seeking different perspectives, viewpoints and opinions outside our ‘tiny bubbles’. I liked the post so much that I decided to reblog it with the permission of the author Ann Coleman.
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Thank you so much, Peter!!
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You are welcome, Ann!
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A wonderful post, Ann, providing much food for thought. And your image for the post is perfect 😊
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Thanks! The dogs in the photo belong to my son and daughter-in-law, and they often snuggle together like that. I thought it was a fitting illustration!
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Hi Ann! My apologies for not calling by for a while. I’ve been overwhelmed with work for the past six months and so I’ve barely been on WordPress at all other than to quickly check up on how Peter and Biene’s wonderful true-life love story is developing. When I was there this morning, I saw a link to your post and so clicked on it.
I’m glad I did! I knew you would have something interesting and sensible to say as you always do, but the point you make here is an even more than usually important one. Unless we mix with and come to know and understand people unlike ourselves, I see only trouble ahead for our society. It all begins with us having the courage to get outside our bubble.
(I’m tempted to say I could agree more with you more, but I can’t help feeling that puts me in slightly dangerous territory given the theme!) 🙂
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Of course I meant to write “I couldn’t agree with you more!” Do you see what six months away from WordPress had done to my brain/hand coordination?
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Oh, Bun, I have missed you! But no apologies needed, you told us all that you would be away for a while due to your new job (which I hope is going well.)
And thanks for your kind words. I truly believe that we are becoming more polarized than ever, and I think that’s actually rather dangerous. We need to stop being so threatened by those who think differently than we do, even though that’s kind of hard. But if we’re ever going to have a peaceful society, we have to stay in regular contact with a very diverse group of people. It’s the only way we’ll ever understand each other..and while we might not agree, and least we can get to the point where we stop thinking of those who are different as “the enemy.”
And no worries on the typo. I was on Word Press today, and I’m quite sure I made several typing mistakes! (I wish they would let us edit our comments on other people’s blogs, but that’s not an option.)
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!!
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I think you’re exactly right about that, Ann. Just as you say, someone with a different opinion is just someone with a different opinion, not an enemy.
Incidentally, being able to edit our own comments on WordPress is a great idea. I should start sending nagging emails to someone about it. 🙂
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Yep! If they’re going to make changes anyway…which they always do…at least we could make some useful changes instead of the kind that just confuse me to no end!
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