The older I get, the more I am convinced that many of life’s most important lessons can’t be taught in the classroom. So many of the things I really need to know I learned from experience, and sometimes through multiple experiences because I have the unfortunate habit of not always paying attention to what life is trying to teach me. In the hopes of sparing others unnecessary discomfort, embarrassment, and pain, I thought I’d share a few of those lessons.
- If at all possible, avoid having a root canal. If you can’t avoid it, always accept the offer of anything that distracts you from the fact that someone is busy digging all the nerves out of your tooth. Wearing earphones drowns out the sound of the drills, and keeps you from hearing if the dentist happens to say, “Ooopsie,” or “Dang, I totally didn’t mean to do that!”
- When making plans for travel, never prepay for anything that is not refundable, nor tell the relatives you are visiting that you will be there no matter what. That is a sure-fire way to bring on a major blizzard, an attack of the flu, or a family or household emergency. I will always remember the Thanksgiving Eve when I came home to discover the upstairs toilet was clogged, the downstairs toilet was in the hallway, and our refrigerator wasn’t working. I had to call my out-of-town mother and tell her there was a tiny chance we might not be there for Thanksgiving dinner.
- If you get home with your new jeans only to discover that the store forgot to remove the little gizmo on them that is supposed to spray ink if not properly removed, go back to the store and ask them to remove it. Don’t try to do it yourself. They aren’t kidding about that ink spraying thing.
- Set your own limits. Nobody knows what you are capable of doing or coping with nearly as well as you do, and you are not required to live up to anyone’s expectations except your own. This includes, but is not limited to, firmly telling your doctor that you don’t want to see the cute but bloody little cyst he just removed from your body. Standing your ground on these matters beats sitting in the waiting room with your head between your knees, sipping cold water and waiting for the feelings of dizziness and nausea to pass so you can go home.
I could go on, but I like to keep my blog posts short and at least somewhat to the point, so I’ll just close with one final, and yet very important, lesson. Never, ever, feed your dog or let your dog find and consume something her digestive system can’t handle. (I won’t name names, but some of you may recognize the photo.) It results in explosive diarrhea, and few things are worse than living with a house dog suffering from explosive diarrhea. I’ll spare you the details. You’re welcome.