A Temporary Fix

/ Ann Coleman

Even though I could certainly use it, I honestly don’t think I’ll ever have any serous plastic surgery done.

It’s not that I’m morally opposed to plastic surgery, or don’t understand wanting to reduce the signs of aging.  We live in a society that values youth, and those of us who are in our late fifties (or sixties and seventies) are living much more active lives than our parents and grandparents did at that age.  So it only makes sense that we would like to look as young as we feel, which means that a quick “nip and tuck” starts looking very attractive.   Even someone someone like me, who is very nervous of medical procedures and used to faint at the mere sight of blood, can feel tempted to head to the nearest plastic surgeon’s office and ask for “the works.”

But the truth is, even the best of plastic surgery would be wasted on me.  And I know this because I have had a couple of minor procedures done (for health reasons) in the past couple of years, and I’ve already managed to ruin them.

For years I suffered from sagging eyelids, which combined with my chronic dry-eye, meant that I almost always had a sore on the outer corner of my eye where the tears would get trapped in the fold of skin.  I tried wiping the area regularly with tissues and even applying ointments, but nothing helped.  So I finally went to a doctor, who told me the best results would come from making an incision in the top of my eye lid and cutting away the excess skin.  As if.  I quickly asked for other options, and he said I could also do a simple eyebrow lift.  I figured I could handle that, and so I had it done.

And you know what I did last night?  While trying to pick up the TV remote in the dark, I managed to smack my head right into the corner of my night stand, just above the eye.  So now I have a hugely swollen eye socket and a purple eyelid, and, you guessed it, tears caught in the fold of the eyelid.  All that work undone in one moment of klutziness, and my life is nothing if not one long string of klutzy moments.

I have had problems with the veins in my legs for the past fifteen years or so, which finally morphed into full-blown varicose veins.  Which I had treated, repeatedly and somewhat painfully, armed with the knowledge that when I was done, I would finally have legs that didn’t look some kid had colored on them with red and purple markers.  After the initial spider vein treatments, my legs did look vein free….for a few weeks.  But it wasn’t long before I began bumping into things (steps, the open dishwasher door, whatever)  which would cause a bruise, which would turn into yet another cluster of spider veins.  I’m thinking I’ll probably get to enjoy the results of my recent varicose vein treatment for a little bit longer, like say, maybe six months.

So you see why I remain unimpressed by the best that plastic surgery has to offer.  But if the medical field ever comes up with a procedure to cure klutziness, I’d sign up for that so fast……

61 thoughts on “A Temporary Fix”

  1. You know, as the population ages, and there are more and more of us, world-wide, we might, as a society, also become more comfortable with our wrinkles, bags and sags. Hoping for a new definition of normal.
    Which is why, in the meantime, I am also on the lookout for a community of lightly bruised, lacerated humans…klutzes like me!
    😀

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    • I like that idea: power in numbers! I am always amazed at the number of magazine articles and ads that make it sound as if it is some kind of sin to have a face or body that shows our true age. Why in the world should I feel ashamed for not looking 25 when I am, in fact, 59? I get wanting to look nice, but can’t I look nice at 59?
      And glad to meet a fellow klutz! We need to organize….

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  2. A wonderful post Ann.
    You certainly have been so unfortunate.
    I would never have plastic surgery.
    I would rather die covered in wrinkles.

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  3. You were brave to have even the two corrective surgeries! For me I will have to live with my sags and wrinkles as at this as I would need a full body lift. I have dry eyes to and fight tears. Also, I bruise easily on my arms so I try to be careful but I too bump into things easily. Oh, well! Just keep moving! Good post!

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    • I’ve learned to live with my bruises, as they are natural to me. Sadly, I had no choice on the varicose veins…they become a health issue…but one of the side benefits is supposed to be legs that don’t have veins. And like I said, that won’t last on me!

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  4. Ouch, you and me both Ann! I’m renowned for my klutziness … are you sure we’re not related? Seriously though, I’d never have plastic surgery so I think you’re pretty brave, just doing what you did. Remember that you’re uniquely you, bruises, eye tucks and all. Beautiful in and out. Take care. xo

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    • Thanks, Miriam! The eyebrow lift was scary, and after that, I looked at my stitches and told my husband, this is the last time I’m letting anyone cut on my face, unless it’s absolutely necessary (remove a cancer spot, etc.) It did help with the sore at the corner of my eye for a while, but I have a feeling that it will be back even after my new black eye heals. I think I’ll just learn to live with it! (And I am very, very glad that I hit the edge of the nightstand on my eye socket, and not squarely in the eye….that doesn’t bear thinking about!)
      As for the varicose veins, I have to do the other one too, that’s a health issue, sadly. The spider veins aren’t, and they’ll be back, but I’ll live with them!

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  5. Having a problem with looks is one thing, but, having a problem with health is quite another. Learn to live with your looks and concentrate on your inner beauty and let it shine. If your health is failing I would definitely advise to see a doctor. Unfortunately, the younger generation, which is growing up with today’s obsession with looks and the pipe dream of eternal youth will experience problems when they reach our age. When you find a solution for your klutziness, dear Ann, let me know.

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    • I will! A cure for klutziness is exactly the medical breakthrough I am waiting for!
      And I know what you mean about the difference between going to a doctor for health, and going for looks. I did the eyebrow lift to get rid of that sore, but it still classified as cosmetic (and now it’s neither, I think!) As for veins, I have one more varicose one to go…it is a health issue…but I’m not going to worry about the spider ones anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I look the way I look, and I’m okay with that.
      Thanks, Peter, for your kind words!

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  6. I admit to being one of the klutzes too – from the comments it seems there are quite a few of us about! I could list the damage I’ve done to myself but it would be too long. Black eyes and broken bones figure 😦

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  8. LOL! I So so so get this! I am trying so hard to embrace the wrinkles and sags and veins and age spots. It is so weird to feel young in your heart, but look old! And I am a klutz too and cause myself so many more bruises and cuts and broken toes……. Oiy Vay!

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    • It’s hard, isn’t it? And you know, the more I think about this, the more I think our desire to look young comes from the simple fact that we feel younger than we are, so when we catch a look at ourselves in the mirror, we think, “Well, that can’t be right!” And then we are vulnerable to those who tell us we need to “fix it.” The trick is just to accept that our bodies our aging, but our spirits will be forever young….and that’s just fine!

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      • Maybe that is it – it is such a trick to our brains when we look in the mirror. Just celebrated birthday #55 for my best friend and we were looking at the age spots on our hands and the fact that the waiter called us “Maam” – but then I look at our “kids” and the wonderful young people they have become and the great lives we have, and think – we need to just get over ourselves and cherish these precious lives we have! 🙂 ❤

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        • You are exactly right, Jodi! And in a way, it is a blessing to move beyond being so self-conscious of our appearance to just accepting who we are now, and appreciating all the joys that this stage of our lives brings. It’s a mindset, I truly believe that. And a rather liberating one at that!

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  9. I read this post with interest and couldn’t agree with you more. Over twenty years ago, just turned 40, I was advised to have a preventative double mastectomy after having many benign cysts removed and because my mother and grandmother had both died in mid life from breast cancer. I went ahead and the reconstructive surgery was not without problems leaving me somewhat lop sided and less than perfect. My thoughts were positive as I had removed the threat of the dreaded C from my life and would be around to see my kids into adulthood and hopefully long after. Only a few years after surgery my marriage broke up, my appearance was not the only issue but it played its part and I learned to cope with life as a single. Many years later I met and married my lovely husband who never once commented on my battered body other than to reassure me that as it was part of me, then that was fine….and life continued. Two years ago my initial implants began to deteriorate and I was sent to a younger surgeon who reassured me that they could and should be replaced, and that he could do much with the latest techniques to ‘improve’ my appearance. I went in to the hospital with a great deal of nervousness hoping that I would not succumb to infection as I had the first time round. Al went well; I have a slightly larger bust, a really natural shape, and the old, damaged scar tissue was cut away. To all intents and purposes I look ‘ perfect’, more importantly I am much more physically comfortable. My adult daughter is somewhat envious of my perky shape, my husband made no comment other than to express his pleasure that all had gone well and that I am able to go for longer walks now that I am comfortable and the whole thing proved to me that what is happening on the outside really has very little impact on what is going on internally. New boobs or not I’m still the same person so my advice to anyone is think once, then think again before dashing under the knife. Ageing is inevitable and is best done with grace and humour and clever dressing!

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    • Thanks for sharing your story! I’m so sorry you had to go through two reconstructive surgeries…I don’t blame you for being nervous, especially after getting an infection the first time. I’m glad it all worked out and that the new implants are more comfortable. I agree that whenever possible, surgery should be avoided. There’s always a risk involved, no matter how small. I also like the first comment on this thread that says maybe as the numbers of “older” people increase, we will become more accepting of how we look naturally at that age. Here’s hoping!

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  10. From one klutz to another, “I feel your pain!” I am not a fan of what I’ll call, unnecessary plastic surgery. I do think there are certain circumstances where it is absolutely a necessity, but as far as the whole aging thing, I am happy to embrace my sags & lines & age as nature intended!

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    • That’s a very good attitude to have! I struggle a bit with it, mostly because I think of myself as much younger than I am, so when I look in the mirror, I tend to be a bit shocked by what I see. But maybe that’s the case with everyone? I do think that everyone gets to decide for him/her self just how much they want to “fight” the aging process, and I’m not trying to tell anyone else what to do. But for me, the difficulties I’ve had just with the veins and eyes has helped me make the decision to just “age naturally.” (Except for my hair…I still dye that!)

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  11. Did you have the veins removed? I’ve heard varying reports on this…that you shouldn’t really do this…?? I’ve started to feel uncomfortable with the way I look, so I have upped my workouts by a long shot. Butt and thigh workouts. Does it help? Who knows. And the funny thing is, I’m probably the only one who really cares anyway! 🙂

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    • Yes, I had the procedure done on one leg and am supposed to get it done on the other leg this Fall. What have you heard about not doing it? Two doctor’s told me that the main vein in my leg was no longer moving all the blood back to my heart, so some of it was pooling in my lower legs, hence the varicose veins. And a friend of mine has varicose veins in both of her legs, and the pain really bothers her. I’ve heard it just get worse if left untreated? Do you know what the risk is with doing it?

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    • You know, I really do think that we each get to decide for ourselves what we do and do not want to have done, as long as it doesn’t affect our health. Personally, I’m hoping they invent a cream that really does “tighten it up a bit!” Until then, I’m living with the sags and wrinkles. Thanks for the comment!

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  13. I figure I’ve earned my growing network of wrinkles, age spots, and ever more silvering hair. It gives “character”. Of course I’m a guy, so maybe different standards may apply, but why?

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    • I think you are right about the different standards. Aging men get to look “distinguished” while aging women simply look old. Why that’s the case, I have no idea, but I do think that women in general tend to be judged on their appearance more than men. Still, that doesn’t mean we have to accept that judgement. I think it’s okay to look our age, no matter if we’re male or female!

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  14. I worked in aesthetic medical device companies for about 12 years. Technology and science has come a long way but my advice to someone looking for a quick fountain of youth is buyer beware. There are things that work but don’t last, there are things that are simply smoke and mirrors that play on the desire for youth mostly on middle age women, and there are some that are safe and reliable but with nominal outcomes. unfortunately I am not aware of a procedure for klutziness but at least klutziness is natural and not superficial. 😉

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    • Your comment confirms what I’ve suspected for a while! All these “med spas” make me very nervous, as to whether the people who are running them actually know what they are doing. And there is a lot of money to be made by promising women of a certain age that you have a miracle cure that makes them look ten years younger. I regard it all with suspicion, although there are times when we can’t avoid having a procedure done, like removing an iffy-looking mole.
      And even though it’s natural, I have to say that I’d still like to get rid of my klutziness! Ha!

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      • Aesthetics is still a little bit of the wild wild west. Make sure there is a licensed physician available when any procedure is being performed. Aestheticians can do a wide variety of complicated medical procedures so long as they are “supervised’ by a physician. The thing is the supervision can be that the physician is available via phone if needed and not necessarily actively on site. A lot of MD’s will lend their name to an aesthetic practice as the “MD of record” and get paid a lot of money from the business for their name but they are not necessarily around much of at all. Like anything else shopping and references go a long way towards safety and efficacy. But yeah, the klutziness. I guess that’s ok so long as the patient and not the MD is the klutz. 🙂

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        • It is truly scary how much is being done without a real doctor around! Thanks for sharing this, it just reinforces the idea that I don’t want to head to a med spa for any treatment…. (Unless, of course, they promise to cure klutziness. Then I think I’d risk it! LOL!)

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  16. I have decided it is all genetics as I look at my aunt-age 83-a model years ago in NYC for Seventeen Magazine. A lady who could eat and eat, smoke, and drink a fish under the table. She is still kicking and driving a car! Her bone structure never caved in and when I compare myself in my mid 50’s careful of what I eat; not smoking; and taking care to drink one glass of wine a day…I think it is all in genetics. I am not sure I want to live that long but I admire her tenacity and genetics.

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    • I had one lasered shut, but as you see from other comments, I’ve learned that not all doctors are in favor of this procedure. I would recommend a second opinion. But if you have to have it done, it’s not that bad! Good luck!

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  18. It’s not as popular as you’d think, but a guaranteed treatment for klutziness is a medically-induced coma. And it also provides temporary relief from insomnia, social anxiety, and body dysmorphia. Your welcome 😉

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  19. I think you might have to get an extended warranty with these procedures.😊
    Seems like painful becomes more painful…:) I’m sorry about that, Ann.
    Like you, I don’t know what I’d ever get any kind of plastic surgery. I’m not a fan of elective surgeries and I always figure if aging lines and the rest is the worst brat happens to me then I’ll feel lucky..:)
    Watch those steps and corners now😊

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    • Yep, whenever I start feeling sorry for myself about how I look rather older than I actually am, I just think of all those people who are dealing with serious medical issues and then I switch to feeling grateful really, really, fast. Meanwhile, I’ll keep trying not to bump into things. Key word being “try!”

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  20. Oh me too, if they find a cure for being a klutz! You’d laugh if you saw the desk I’m sitting at; I hit my right leg and knee on the side edge of it so many times that eventually I put a thick piece of foam on it and there it remains. I’ve not hurt my leg on that anymore, but tsill do it on nearly everything else that I don’t notice in time!
    I also have the varicose veins but intend to go for as long as I can without getting them treated. I do keep an eye on them, though. (Do yours throb in the morning, in bed? Mine do).
    Sorry about your eyes.

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    • Thanks, Val! My eye looks worse now, but is actually starting to feel better. The simple fact is that I have a black eye, and those take a while to get over. My vein doesn’t hurt yet, but it’s getting bigger. I hope yours doesn’t hurt too badly…and I don’t blame you for holding out as long as you can!

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  21. Well, considering how clumsy I am, I guess I should avoid any procedures as well! Hope your eye heals quickly. That sounds quite uncomfortable. To be honest, the only feature I’ve ever wished I could fix is my weak chin. In photos, if I don’t make a point of sticking my chin out, I always look like I have a double chin. I know the older I get, the more the skin in my neck will sag so it will only get worse. Oh well! Growing old gracefully is sometimes a challenge!😊

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    • I know! I don’t like my chin either, but I’m not nearly brave enough to have it fixed. Plus, I’d probably just ruin it within six months anyway. Growing old isn’t fun, but I’m learning to accept it. Thanks, Nancy!

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  22. Having been attacked recently by a stationary box of books while playing with the dog (I was doing the playing, not the box), I sympathize. I got away without a black eye, but if I hadn’t I’d planned to fall back on the old standby: You should see the other guy.

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  23. First of all, I need a special vacation day just to catch up on your posts. But now that school is over I have, finally, a chance to write again and read again. This post made me laugh out loud. I feel the same way about plastic surgery. I would, if I had anything done, like to have my chin/turkey neck area done. But I have had so many needed surgeries, that a vanity one seems ridiculous.
    Except my eyelid. I have one droopy lid, probably because of a stroke. I have lots of things my eye doctor has me doing to solve the problem somewhat, and it is working, somewhat. He has suggested the cutting and removing skin you mentioned, but mostly I feel like ewwwwwww. I may change my mind if it droops so low I can’t see out of that eye. But it still grosses me out. And I’m not sure it would last.
    Poor us.

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    • Yeah, that’s why I went with the eyebrow lift instead. The results weren’t as good, but it seemed a lot less gross and painful to me. And when I was talking to the doctor about it, he told me he could get rid of my under-eye bags as well. I hate those bags (they are getting bigger by the day), but when he told me how he would get rid of them, (you don’t want to know) I realized I’d never do it. He told me I would look younger if I had it done, and I say yes, as long as someone was looking only at my eyes. But as soon as they looked at the rest of my face and neck, then the illusion would be gone anyway. He admitted I had a point…..
      And I’m just glad you’re back! Take your time working back into the blog world, and know I look forward to your new posts when you’re ready to write them.

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