I’ve been struggling with my blog for the past few weeks. I’ve been putting off writing posts, and when I finally did sit down to write something, I was struggling to clarify just exactly what it was that I wanted to say and then struggling some more to come up with just exactly the right words to say it.
At first, I put it down to the hectic schedule of Christmas, knowing that I was existing on too much rich food and drink, too little sleep, and a “to do” list that was growing longer by the day. I figured that my tiny little brain just couldn’t keep up with it all, and that probably had something to do with it, but also I thought there was more going on that just holiday stress. Then I began to worry that after two years of writing this blog, I was getting tired of it and ready to quit, but that didn’t feel quite right either. I love writing, and at the moment, this blog is my only creative writing outlet. And I knew I wasn’t really ready to quit writing.
And then I read the post Finding My Purpose: Why I Blog on my friend Jodi’s blog and had what I believe is called an “ah ha!” moment. I felt that Jodi had not only read my mind, but had also thoughtfully written a post that spelled things out for me, since I was having so much trouble figuring it out for myself. (Friends, blogging or otherwise, can be very helpful that way, especially for those of us who can be a bit slow on the uptake.)
Like Jodi, I started my blog as a form of personal expression, and honestly, I only settled on the subject of middle age because I thought that was something about me that other people could easily relate to. But once I got over the initial thrill that there were people out there who were actually willing to read my posts, I found that it became very important to me to write posts that actually offered something to my readers. More importantly, I wanted my blog to be positive.
I knew there is a lot in this world, and in each of our lives, that is scary and depressing, but I also knew that I didn’t want to dwell on that in my blog. If people want bad news, they can simply turn on their TV or log onto the internet. And we all have stuff in our past that isn’t pretty, and that can leave us angry and bitter. But I can’t change the world, I can’t change the past, and I can’t truly fix anyone else’s life. What I can do is exactly what Jodi describes: offer encouragement, remind people of the beauty that is still around us, share hopeful insights, and maybe give others a chance to laugh at, rather than rage against, the mundane challenges of our lives. And I can do all that, in my own small way, through this blog.
I think in the back of my mind, I always wanted my blog to be a source of encouragement, entertainment and/or inspiration, but I just hadn’t found the courage to admit it until I read my friend’s post. All I know is that now I see what the purpose of my blog has been all along, and I have a hunch that my struggles with writing it are over.