Losing Control

/ Ann Coleman

For the past few months, I’ve been careful to keep to my blogging schedule of posting twice a week.  I usually post on Sunday, and then again on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on how my week is going.  I’ve become almost obsessive about it, which should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me.  I tend to establish habits and then stick to them, come what may, even about things that don’t particularly matter.  It’s not one of my more endearing characteristics.

So yesterday, even though I had a bridal shower in the morning, an out-of-town nephew arriving for a visit in the afternoon, and a family dinner to host in the evening, I still believed that I should somehow find the time to write and publish a blog post.  I mean, yesterday was Sunday, so what choice did I have?   Surely, somewhere in that busy day, I would find the time to write a and publish a short blog post, accompanied by an appropriate photograph, once I came up with an idea to write about.  But as the day went by, it became obvious, even to me, that I wasn’t going to be doing a blog post.

I admit, I fretted about it at first.  But gradually I realized how absurd it was to be trying to rush through something as important as a bridal shower, visiting with a nephew we don’t get to see nearly as often as we would like, and a family dinner just for the chance to write (yet another) blog post.  And once I had let go of my original plan for the day and just went along with the flow of what was actually happening, I found myself having a grand old time.

Giving up control is a hard thing for me, as I believe it is for many people. We get an idea about how things are supposed to be, or a schedule we are supposed to follow, and it’s only natural to feel a bit anxious, or even annoyed, when things don’t go according to plan.  Sometimes we even want to control how others react to us, and feel put out when they aren’t appropriately impressed by our latest news, or one of our blog or Facebook posts doesn’t get enough “likes.”  We forget that other people are the ones who get to decide how they are going to react to what we write, say and do, and that we….don’t.

So I’m glad that I had a such a nice day yesterday, and that I had the chance to enjoy a very fun and creative bridal shower.  I’m glad that I got to spend time talking to my nephew, and realizing again just what a fine young man he has turned out to be.  I’m glad that I got to host a family dinner, and hear about my daughter and son-in-law’s recent trip to Colorado, and to continue the discussion about whether my son and I will or will not be doing a mother/son dance at his wedding.

But mostly, I’m glad that yesterday was so busy that I wasn’t able to follow my usual blog posting schedule.  It was a great reminder for me that sometimes in life, the best things happen when we allow ourselves to simply lose control, even for just a little while.  And who knows?  I might keep the excitement going by accompanying this post with a photo which has no relevance whatsoever…..img_1498

 

55 thoughts on “Losing Control”

  1. This post is so funny, Ann. I love how you just are who you are, and put yourself out there. As for me, I feel the opposite of you, like I have almost no control over anything in my life. My husband is constantly springing things in me, my boss controls my weekdays, people are always needing me and demanding things. Recently I told a friend I’ve had it, I’m going to do something totally out of character for me and shock everyone and shake things up. Just haven’t figured out what yet😊

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    • I think there has to be a balance between trying to constantly be in control (me) and feeling constantly out of control (you). Because neither is very fun. But when you do decide to shake things up and do something totally out of control, you have to promise that I will get to read about it! And you know that I will also be cheering you on…..

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  3. I love it. It appears to have worked out pretty well for you. I used to try to stick with a schedule when I first started blogging, tried to post twice a month on very specific days, but found it wasn’t very productive. It cramped my style if that makes any sense (although I’m not sure I have any style at this point). And….I think we need to hear more about this mother/son dance….. 😉

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  4. Love this post Ann! It is a great gift to be able to live in the moment, but often easier said than done. Sounds like a wonderful weekend and your posts are always worth waiting for!

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  6. It’s so true, but sometimes I find myself feeling the same pressure you describe. Just to get a blog post out. I do know that when I rush a post, it never feels right. I’m sure your post just flowed out of you because you had the experience of not blogging on your designated day to give you ideas. Always good to mix it up, even for us creatures of habit!

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  7. LOL! Love it! I can relate on many levels Ann! I post daily and sometimes stress over what to post. I so enjoy it, but… some days….I really fret over it. Then I wonder…… WHY? Would anyone even care? What does it really matter? It’s not like it’s my job or family…… Oh the wacky webs we weave – eh? And look – you missed Sunday, but we are here on Monday THOROUGHLY enjoying your post! Thanks for a great lesson. If I ever miss a day – I’ll remember this and YOU! ❤

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    • I love reading your posts first thing in the morning, Jodi! You post every day, and yet you also manage to post top-quality content. That being said, heck yeah, give yourself permission to skip a day or two! Your readers will understand, and we will be there when you do want to post. There really is no reason to stress about it so much. You are right…we do weave wacky webs, don’t we? Thanks for always being such a supportive friend. You have no idea how much I value that!!!

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  8. Such a great post, and I’m glad you were able to relax and enjoy the day rather than worrying about the blog post – we as your readers are all the better for it! Like you I tend to find a schedule and stick to it, and sometimes I can’t see that having a bit more flex would make life a bit easier and allow more space for fresh adventures and insights. And I loved the photo! Thanks for sharing 😄

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    • Thank you so much! It’s hard to ignore our posting schedules, because I’m always afraid that if I do, I’ll stop posting regularly. But you know what? That hasn’t happened any time I’ve missed my schedule. I think we just need to be easier on ourselves. It’s so much more fun when we have the time to be creative and are not “pushing” our posts.
      As for the photo…how can you not like sleeping goats?? LOL! Thanks for the comment!

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  9. I understand this. I had to tell myself that I wasn’t going to feel guilty for not blogging every day or even every week. I’m usually not sad about it, but I do end up missing everyone. 🙂

    As for control, I have little control over my life right now, but I do have control over how I react to it. So there’s that.

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  11. This is a great post to read. I totally understand feeling the need to be in control and I sometimes have a tough time remembering that other people control themselves and what they do (not me). It’s nice to know that I am not the only one out there that feels ‘put out’ when things change and leave my control.

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  12. Love this post! You mentioned the all important photo to go along with the post in the beginning and tied in a photo of goats that have absolutely no relevance at all at the end. Hilarious!!

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  13. Even though it’s late Ann,
    It’s a great post.
    Me, I post whenever.
    I try to post one a week, but
    sometimes it’s one a fortnight. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I get it. It’s that ADD/OCD personality! I’m that way about my athletics, although I’ve lightened up. I am that way about my blog. Once a day rain or shine….that’s why some posts are not as good as others! 🙂 But it’s great how you can write a post about not writing a post every day and it has relevance. xo

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  15. I think you made the right call, Ann, although I understand how you feel. I always blog on a Tuesday and it has become an absolutely rock-solid part of my schedule. I’m very impressed that you manage to write two substantial posts per week. 🙂

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    • Thanks, Bun! I wouldn’t call them substantial, but they are posts. And I understand why you keep your schedule so rock solid, too. My fear is that if I don’t stick to the schedule, I’ll just eventually fall away from blogging altogether. It’s easy to skip “just this one post” when we’re busy, but how long does it take for that to be skipping almost all posts? So, I’ll keep my schedule, but just remember that every now and then, it’s okay to miss a deadline!

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  17. I do sometimes feel like the blog has become another person in the house. To begin with its like an amusing visitor: the talk flows freely and it’s vol-au-vents, wine and chuckles all round. After a while you find it’s living in the spare room and demanding the Full English Breakfast every morning. : )

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  18. I always love your posts Ann, whatever day they come. Unlike you I have no schedule, no control and my posts come out whenever I get the urge. It’s probably not the most efficient way to blog but that’s just how I seem to be these days, a bit scattered and all over the place! Good on you for relinquishing a bit of control and focusing on your family. That’s what life’s all about!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Miriam! I’m seriously considering giving up my schedule and doing my blog the way you do: posting when I feel like it. I started the schedule because I was really afraid that without a schedule, I wouldn’t keep up withe blog and it would just die out. But I think I’ve been doing it long enough now that I am certain to stick with it (I would miss my blogging friends, like you!) and so maybe it’s time to relax a bit. I’ll see… Change comes hard for me!

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  19. Postponing a blog post is not losing control, Ann. It’s managing the way you spend a most precious commodity ~ time. Love your message and the photo too!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Like you I am a creature of habit and a bit of a controller as it relates to my personal schedule and goals. I too am trying to be more flexible and ‘go with the flow” of life especially now that we are up in the mountains where life does actually move a little slower. I wish I could even get two posts out a week and have convinced myself that now that the days are getting shorter and winter is around the corner that I may hunker down more often but the fire and post much more often. Time will tell…

    Liked by 2 people

    • No worries…post when you want to, and your readers (especially me) will enjoy them. I think that far too often in life, we make things harder than they have to be. I follow several blogs, but I make it a point to read each and every post of a much smaller number of them, and yours is one of that number. So please know that whenever you post, your readers will be there for you!!! Take care….

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  22. I have reel you, I give you props for keeping to a strict schedule. I don’t know that I could do that.
    Your post was great and made me laugh at times. I post when the mood strikes or I think of something that I want to write about.
    I imagine it must have felt like a sense of freedom when you got over the stress of not blogging on schedule. The big question, of course is whether this will lead to more blogging post sins or will you stick to your schedule😊
    We are all waiting with bated breath..:)

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    • You are so funny! But seriously, I’m trying to decide whether or not to stick with the schedule from here on out. When I started blogging, all the advice I read said to post every day or I wouldn’t have any readers. Sadly, I simply don’t have that much to say, and will leave daily posting to those who are more creative and productive than I will ever be. But now: do I stick to the schedule just to make sure I also stick with blogging, or do I post when I have the time and inclination, which would certainly make it feel like less of a chore? Or the compromise, which is write a post when I want to, but then only actually publish it on the schedule? Dang, I’m making this complicated…..

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      • Blogging is supposed to make you happy and bring you pleasure, right? So ask yourself one question…which one of those options will make you happier and still allow you to do that you enjoy doing?
        Have your answer yet?😊

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